July 07, 2004
More 4th of July
I know many readers agree with me on my violently anti-bird stance. I've always thought this was a learned behavior, but now I have some evidence that it might be hereditary. Not that any genetic justification is necessary for disliking birds, but I digress. I was golfing with some relatives from my mom's side of the family, and I was getting really pissed at these birds that swoop all over the golf course, protecting their nest, about 2 inches off the ground. These things will come within a few inches of people, and sometimes you have to dodge them so that they don't fly into your leg and die. Not that I would mind the 'them dying' part, but their beaks are very sharp and they could put a hole in my pants, not to mention the bloody carcass smeared all over my khakis. I was literally thinking about the vitriol I could lob at them in this very space, when I looked over at my cousin and his dad. My cousin says, "You're not going to hit any, Dad." His dad is holding one of his clubs out the side of the cart as they're driving and swatting at these birds trying to hit them. And this was not just any uncle. This was my Godfather. Genetics has just taken its righteous place in the pantheon of bird-hating. I have never been so proud to be part of the Vogel family in my whole life.
Posted by mill1991 at July 7, 2004 09:20 AM
Just a note to tell you how much I enjoyed your blog entries on hating birds. I stumbled over them by accident, but you certainly gave me the giggles. (Actually, I was looking for pictures of birds in sink drains online, to use in a livejournal icon- but alas, I can find nothing of the kind.)
Anyway, as a lifelong ornithophobe, I have more than my share of bird dislike in an "aww, aren't they cute 'n fuzzy? They're more afraid of you than you are of them" sort of world. Thanks for a few stories that made me smile today.