July 23, 2004

Blind guy

As I was walking home from work last night, I saw a blind guy talking to a really beautiful girl on the sidewalk, and it sounded like they were just making introductions. I walked by without thinking too much of it. Then, as I approached the crosswalk, I noticed that the two of them were crossing the sidestreet, and the blind guy !pulled her hand to his and kissed it! Immediately some questions came into my head. For instance, "How is it possible that Jamal Reynolds failed his physical? He got injured like three years ago. Are his knee joints made of Play-Doh or some other gooey substance?" and "They couldn't get anything for him at all? They should've traded him and a square of Lambeau Field sod for $100 and some footballs."

But more apropos to the situation, I was wondering how a blind guy possibly hits the jackpot when finding people to walk him across the street. I can go all day without seeing an attractive female, and this guy just lucks out... or does he? There are a few competing theories on this. One is that with his other senses heightened, he is able to both smell and hear beauty. I don't know how this would be possible, but my senses aren't heightened, so how would I know? If anything, my senses are shrunk due to my $1000/week crack habit.

The second theory is that he's not really blind. This is my personal favorite. I know, you're thinking, "How can you accuse a blind guy of faking it?" Well, I'm telling you, he's not blind if he's faking it, so then its okay. Besides, I've tried this same trick myself. Except I don't own a dog, so I just strapped one of those harnesses on a squirrel from my backyard. Then, if someone asked me why I had a squirrel I just acted all surprised, like I just thought it was a small dog. And believe me, it works like a charm. Oh wait, charms don't work. It works a lot better than a charm. Posted by mill1991 at July 23, 2004 9:15 AM

Comments