Broken Wing

Crazy weekend

We started the night at Chino Latino Bofino Mucktino's in uptown (okay we get it, you're very clever with naming stuff, and all your employees "Bangkok" t-shirts are hilarious). This is a really nice place, and you can tell this for sure because the prices on the menu only have dollar amount listed. No cents on this menu. As if anyone wealthy enough to eat there completely disregards anything less than whole dollars. But the surprising thing is the bathrooms. They have a trough instead of urinals. I thought maybe I took a wrong turn and ended up in the Metrodome bathroom, but no dice - I was in the right bathroom. To make it worse, their trough is approximately the width of three urinals, and there was already a dude on each side. Now, in case there are any female readers here, most men are uncomfortable in this situation if there ARE urinals, and private urinating zones. But with the trough, this is downright eery. So, I went to the first stall. Locked. All that's left is the gargantuan handicapped stall with gilded toilet seat and paper made of Egyptian cotton. So, I cut off this guy in a wheelchair and jumped into the stall. I figure, he already gets the best parking spots, does he think he never has to wait for a bathroom in his life just because he can't walk?

Next we went to Tonic. This was alright, nothing too good or bad. Ran into some old high school friends. But I'm still stuck in high school hierarchy mode so I told them to go do my homework and not to talk to me when people are watching. Okay, finally we went back to the launching point and hung out for a bit, then I started my journey home.

As I was walking home, there was a group of guys milling about on the sidewalk, sounding like they were talking one guy down. When I passed them, I heard one guy say, "Dude! Just go up to this guy [me] and clock him! Just go and jack this guy!" I'm thinking, what the fuck. So, just to turn the tables, I went up and jacked him. Usually I don't do stuff that stupid, or I do stuff that stupid when I'm surrounded with burly friends. In this case, though, I was alone, so it was fairly stupid. Okay I didn't really hit him. But I did yell something at them like "What the fuck? Why you hatin' on me?" (Seriously, I think I used the word "hatin'.") But they were impressed that I didn't just run away like a little bitch, so he didn't jack me.

Once I got home, I heard some my neighbors talking in the front porch like it was midday (mind you, it was like 4:30 am). So, I walked into the porch like I own the place and just sit down and start talking. And they were so nonchalant about it, like this is a regular occurrence. So I started talking with them, and found out that these are the type of guys who, when trying to give advice on dealing with women, tell you about ways to try and trick them. It should be mentioned that I don't mind getting unsolicited advice on women. When it comes to females, I am completely hapless. I have no hap. Hap is what I need. But I'm not looking for tricks (in either sense of the word). Posted by mill1991 at July 24, 2004 1:11 PM