Broken Wing

Sausage Fest VI

Well, another year has gone by and Sausage Fest VI is in the books (yes, I do measure time relative to Sausage Fest, which makes the current date 01-01-00006 Sausage Fest Era (SFE)). As always, our camping trip this year was a monument to excessive drinking, lackluster hygiene, and dirty-old-mannery. In a complete surprise, no one has died yet, despite playing beach volleyball for 8 hours a day in 90-degree weather while consuming only potato chips, grill meats, and subpremium light beers. Once again, SF was the complete highlight of my summer, as it is for many (even for some who do not attend, as our stories astonish and delight them). Many hilarious and entertaining things happened, and I will try to remember all that I can, but for those who attended and are reading this digital gold, please add stuff that I may have forgotten. After all, drinking for 12 hours a day is not conducive to a steel-trap memory. Also, my egomaniacal nature prevents me from caring about and subsequently remembering things that happen to other people. Also, since there is a lot to report, I will be spreading the reporting over several days because, believe it or not, documenting my life in Internet form is not my full-time job.

Thursday
I arrived to Peninsula State Park around 5 and was greeted with an open beer and open oysters. Apparently my good friend Joynt takes everything I say or write completely literally and actually brought back an ass-load of oysters. He was also pestering me all weekend about buying stock in Acme Puppy Traps. So, we ate a bunch of oysters and became extremely randy. It turns out that oysters are completely awesome and we dined on these at various intervals over the long weekend.

Since we were all worked up from the oysters, and not too many people were there yet, and we were in a family area of the campsite, we decided to go to a local establishment and drink there instead. Once there, we noticed that there was an attractive female present. You may be thinking, only one? But this is Door County, and one attractive female was exactly one more than we expected. So all 6 of us pretty much hovered around her all night, and her and a not-so-attractive friend played a drinking game with us. Yes, I know, playing drinking games at bars is the stupidest idea ever - especially in Door County, where everything is about 10x more expensive than it is in the real world. They just distribute Monopoly money to the locals and let them pay for stuff with that, otherwise nobody could afford to live there. Eventually, we broke the attractive women's spirit, and she gave me her phone number, since her and I attend the same illustrious University. Unfortunately, it was later discovered to be not so much real, as someone tried to call it and got an error. In hindsight, I probably should've realized it was fake because it was only 5 digits long and some of the digits were actually punctuation marks.

As we were at the bar, most of the rest of the crew eventually filtered in as they arrived to Door County. We eventually made it back to the campsite, where we were apparently dropping a lot of f-bombs and other "curse" words. Come back tomorrow to find out why... Posted by mill1991 at August 2, 2004 09:36 PM