This is my first foray into writing anything about politics. Since I don't like either of the candidates, I don't feel like I will be biased towards either, and even if I am, who cares?
It seems like the entertainment world is mobilizing more for this election than they did for the last. Hollywood could actually make a difference, and if it does, it will probably be to help Kerry. So, the actors are generally for Kerry, but what about the characters? On my most recent 5 hour drive from the GBC to the cities, I thought about a few of my favorite movies, and who the characters in them would vote for.
The Wizard of Oz
- Scarecrow - This character has no brain. Chalk one up for Bush!
- Tinman - Tinman lacks a heart. Hmm... sounds like a republican. Another vote for Bush!
- Lion - The lion has no courage. Well, one candidate fought in an unpopular war, the other one upper-classed his way out of it. That would suggest a Bush vote. On the other hand, democrats are big babys, sometimes seemingly afraid to take hard-line positions. This seems like a tossup. The most likely scenario is that the lion stays home, afraid to get into a car accident on the way to the elementary school to vote.
- Dorothy - This one is also difficult. On the one hand, she whines a lot, aligning her with democrats. On the other hand, she believes in magic fairys and witches and trusts them with important decisions. This would side her with born-again Bush and the religious right. In the end, she'll probably vote for Kerry because he's pro-choice, and thats the only important issue.
The Little Mermaid
- King Triton - An autocratic underwater ruler who desires to maintain absolute control with little input from constituents. Well, sounds like Ashcroft, but since Bush is on the ballot, this is a Bush vote.
- Ariel - She's independent and curious, as evidenced by her giant collection of human artifacts which interest her. Uh-oh, did someone say Nader?
- Sebastian - He accepts dictates from Triton without asking any questions - another vote for Bush.
- Scuttle (the seagull) - This bird is moronic, not knowing any of the correct words for human artifacts. Also, it has a severely twisted sense of reality. Wait a second... this character is George W. Bush!
- Morpheus - Has faith in humans. He has a belief system which he follows but doesn't force on others. This is clearly not Bush's goal - score one for Kerry.
- Neo - I'm remembering that scene where they ask Neo what he needs, and he says "Guns. Lots of guns." Gun nuts vote for Bush.
- Trinity - She is completely whipped by a gun nut, so she will vote with him. Bush.
- Cypher - First he takes the red pill, then later he wishes he would've taken the blue pill. First, he decides he wants to be out of the matrix, and when its too difficult he decides he wants back in the matrix. This is a classic flip-flop. Kerry wins Cypher's vote.
There you have it, how some of your favorite movie characters would vote in the upcoming election. My tally is: Bush - 7 votes. Kerry - 3 votes. Nader - 1 vote. Too afraid to vote - 1. Fortunately for the USA, movie characters are not yet eligible to vote, though if Bush is smart (which he clearly isn't) he'll propose an amendment allowing them to.
Posted by mill1991 at August 10, 2004 9:12 AM