September 13, 2004

Vikings game

I was in a group of singers that sang the national anthem at the Minnesota Vikings game yesterday with the U of M marching band. Afterwards, they allowed us to stay on the field for the whole game. I'm from Green Bay, so I'm not exactly a Vikings fan. At the same time, I can't exactly cheer for the Cowboys. So, basically I'm just cheering for serious injuries. But I stayed, since it was a free sideline seat to an NFL game. Here are some observations.

During the singing of the anthem, I was standing face to face with Mike Tice, Daunte Culpepper, and Randy Moss at a distance of about 10 yards. For a few seconds, I'm pretty sure Moss was looking me right in the eye. While I had his attention, I tried to throw him off his game by mouthing the words, "I love you." Unfortunately, he ended up scoring two touchdowns. If people back in Green Bay were to find out that I was standing this close to Randy Moss and that I did not even attempt to kick him, I could legally be hanged from the Ray Nitzche bridge.

The announcer claims that Vikings fans are the loudest in the NFL. The argument seems to run like this:

    Premise:
  1. Vikings fans make a lot of noise.
  2. The Metrodome is the loudest stadium in the NFL.

    3. Conclusion:
  3. Vikings fans are the loudest in the NFL.

This argument fails because it assumes there are no other sources of noise. Anyone who has been to a Vikings game knows exactly how ridiculous this is. Most Green Bay fans who have watched the games on TV know this. I was standing on the field during introductions, when the fans are at their noisiest. They were also playing "rap" music. The music was much louder than the fans. Now, I'm not saying that Vikings fans don't lead the NFL in anything. Ugliest fans in the NFL? Possible. Most obnoxious fans in the NFL? Likely. Least hygienic fans in the NFL? Malodorously clear.

No one has more power than the people on the field that launch prizes into the stands. The prize can be hot dogs, t-shirts, or rubber balls. The method of launch can be 3-man slingshot, pneumatic cannon, or just an overhand toss. It doesn't matter, if a prize is somehow being launched from on the field into the stands, people will scream maniacally and maul 8 year old girls trying to get it. They could be launching cow manure into the upper deck with a trebuchet and the fans will go crazy. They should combine this event with the event where they give away a free pizza to a lucky fan. Just launch slice after slice with the three man slingshot. Posted by mill1991 at September 13, 2004 10:30 AM

Comments

Tim,
Great use of the word trebuchet. I haven't played with one of those since my freshman year in high school, circa 1649 AD. I believe it was when Gordon Kendall was trying to toss a cat at the speed of light, in a failed attempt to disprove E=MC^2.

#1 DAD

Posted by: #1 DAD at September 14, 2004 07:12 PM

Interesting thoughts concerning the stadium noise. I sit near the top of the Dome and I can assure you that it is very loud. I can't hear any music at all. I can't even hear the player introductions. It get so loud it even affects my equilibrium. I kid you not. I think is probably because I get all the sound bouncing off the top coming back at me at the same time all the sound is coming at me from normal directions. Anyway, I'm very envious of you being able to hear how it sounds from the field. Green Bay fans don't even deserve to sit where I'm sitting let alone on the field itself.

Posted by: Shane at September 15, 2004 11:05 AM
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