November 04, 2004

Movie cops

I have a simple lesson for movie cops in the suspense thriller serial killer genre. At some point near the end of the movie, you are going to realize that one of the victims is still alive and you will try to find him. He is going to be either tied up and gagged or so brutally injured that he will be unable to speak, but will be making loud murmurs. Pay attention!

When you come upon this final victim, do not let your guard down. You will be tempted to lower your gun, maybe even holster it. Then, you will race over to the victim, ignoring everything else in the room, going explicitly against your years of training and experience which teach you to always be on guard. Perhaps your bulletproof vest is chafing you and you would like to remove it so that you can make easier movements. I have never seen this done, but it would not surprise me.

The point, movie cops, is that the murmuring is occurring for a reason. The killer is lurking in the shadows (it's always dark) with a crow bar or a civil war era pistol or a board with a nail in it. So, even though you will inevitably win the ensuing fight with the suddenly inept mass murderer, you should save all of us some of our lives by just paying attention and killing him immediately. In fact, it might not be a bad idea to do some of your policework in tandem with another police officer, called a "partner." That way, one of you can untie the victim while the other one stays on guard. Posted by mill1991 at November 4, 2004 10:59 AM | TrackBack

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