November 12, 2004

Haircut time frame

I believe the idea of the haircut cycle has been well established elsewhere, but I will repeat it here for clarity. First, there is the "new haircut" phase. This starts the instant you leave the salon (or back alley in my case), and lasts up to a week. You will know when this phase is over because people will stop sympathetically asking "Oh, did you just get a haircut?" The next phase is where you can look in the mirror and say, "That's a pretty good haircut." This assumes, of course, that you spent more than $15 on your haircut. Thus, I have never achieved this stage. The best thing I hope to say at this stage is "Well, the sideburns are somewhat even, and, well, at least I'm not bald." For men, this stage is fairly short, say a few weeks. For women, this stage can last several months. The final stage is the "God I need a haircut stage." Depending on how busy and broke I am, this stage can last between a week and a decade.

The unfortunate upshot of all this is that this cycle has two back-to-back bad periods - the "new haircut" phase directly follows the "need a haircut" phase. So, being an engineer, I look for ways to minimize this. The obvious method is to get a haircut as soon as possible into the "need a haircut" phase. But, as I mentioned earlier, I don't like spending the time or money to get my haircut that often (my hair grows fast enough to be easily noticed by passersby).

So, there is a better solution, but it needs a more complex model. Instead of maximizing the number of days with a good haircut, we want to maximize the amount of utility your haircut provides you. For example, having a great haircut day if you're in meetings all day is not very useful - you're wasting the prime of your haircut. On the other hand, having a great haircut day on singles night at the bowling alley may be worth a week of bad haircut days in Duluth. For the mathematically inclined, the new function we want to maximize is approximately the number of days times the utility per day. This new optimization scheme requires some flexibility with your schedule. There are two parts of the plan:

  1. Get a haircut about a week before a major planned social event - This way, you will be just out of the awkward "new haircut" period and into the prime of your haircut when your event rolls around.
  2. Plan social events around your haircuts - As soon as you step off the barber chair, whip out your cellphone and start filling up next weekend's schedule. This way, you make sure that the days when you have a good haircut are filled with reasons to have it.
Posted by mill1991 at November 12, 2004 03:26 PM | TrackBack
Comments

Very nicely analyzed. I have noticed that the second and third stages are very definitely NOT on a continuum. There is no great to good to okay to less okay to bad. Oh no. I can have great hair one day and the very next day be in the thralls of "My GOD I need to do something about my hair!"

Posted by: Kaitlin at November 12, 2004 05:52 PM

You bring up an interesting point... do you think this is a whole separate phenomenon, though? My hair does seem to go from great .... bad on a linear scale. Perhaps "bad hair days" are exclusive to people with longer hair, or maybe females, or maybe people who do something with their hair besides drying it off.

Posted by: Tim at November 12, 2004 09:13 PM

Actually, the longer my hair is the MORE linear the scale seems to be. I had very short hair in high school and all it takes is one millimeter for my hair to be just above my eyes in a fashionable way to completely! unacceptably! in my freaking eyes!

I’m worried about this now that I have bangs again. Its just going to be license to take the scissors to my own hair.

Posted by: Kaitlin at November 13, 2004 08:18 AM

ASK TIM QUESTION:

I have a question for the Ask Tim forum. Why do college bands wear such awful uniforms? Do you think more people would be in band if they didn't have to wear a 16 piece suit which consists of a crazy hat with shit growing out of it? Whoever invented these uniforms and why don't they change, they are a bit old fashioned. You don't see Brett Favre running around with a leather helmet, newspapers for pads and mochasins.
Tommy Lee

Posted by: Tommy Lee at November 14, 2004 09:13 AM
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