December 03, 2004

Bus ads must have low rates

If you are on campus for any amount of time, you have probably seen those ads on all the buses and even billboards. Basically, they advertise for exercise. They have ostensibly witty phrases like "Test drive your neighbor's dog" or whatever. I can't remember anymore because I've been huffing, but the point is they are really lame. It doesn't appear that they're selling anything since there is no brand given or contact information. I can only assume that this is a government advertisement intended to encourage exercise so that health care costs are reduced. In this case, I have some alternative phrases that could be used that might be more effective. If you, reader, have any of your own, you can leave them in the comments.
  • If you ever got off your ass for two minutes, your tax dollars could be building schools or attacking Canada right now instead of paying for bus advertisements.
  • Vigorous sexual activity: Great for burning calories. Unfortunately no one is attracted to you, fatass.
  • If you weren't so fat, maybe you'd be reading an interesting ad right now.
  • Midget bowling works all your major muscle groups. But be careful to use actual midgets, and not your neighbor's children.
  • Exercise: It seems really boring, and it is, but it will allow you maybe 5 or 10 years of extra life right where you wanted it - at the end!
Posted by mill1991 at December 3, 2004 07:08 PM | TrackBack
Comments

On topic (gradually getting off topic): I think those ads are for Blue Cross Blue Shield, which seems really fake of them in the same way that cigarette companies advertising quit smoking plans seems fake. (Doesn't Philip Morris do that?) "Reduce health costs! Put us out of business!" I dunno. That makes me wonder why dentists are always so crazy about flossing five thousand times a day. Don't they WANT to work?

Way off topic: I'm so glad to see an update because I've already flipped through all of my music, had multiple cups of cocoa and coffee, thought about cookies, and pretty much exhausted all other avenues of distraction. But, I am wondering why all of your entries are dated so as not to reveal the date on which they were actually posted.

Posted by: Kaitlin at December 5, 2004 06:33 PM

Oh, I forgot this. You know how there is one bus that is completely covered with that ad? The whole thing, windows and all? Well, the other day I was standing at the bus stop in front of the union and that bus pulled up. A car stopped right behind it and a man got out of the passenger's side and begin taking pictures of the bus until it drove off. Then the man got back inside of the car and it drove off. Bizarre.

Posted by: Kaitlin at December 5, 2004 06:38 PM

I'm not sure Blue Cross/Blue Shield makes money off sick people. After all, they'd collect a lot of premiums and never have to pay any back if people didn't get sick and make insurance claims as often. Unhealthy people and healthy people often pay the same insurance rates (through their employers' group plans) so it is to the benefit of BCBS to make sure more of these people are healthy. The dentists want you to keep your teeth so they can keep your business. The day your last tooth falls out is the day the dentist loses you as a customer.

One of the light rail cars has the same ad covering it.

Rather than ads, maybe the insurance industry would be better off investing in funhouse mirrors plastered to the sides of the buses. It would look just like an ordinary mirror, but it would make you look about 450 lbs heavier. Just for fun they could throw in a few that made you look like a toothpick.

Posted by: Jim at December 5, 2004 07:32 PM

Oh. Good points.

Posted by: Kaitlin at December 5, 2004 08:11 PM

Dear Tim,

What _is_ the ratio of time-added-to-the-end-of-my-life to time-I-have-to-exercise-now-in-order-to-earn-it?

And do I really want to be incontinent, senile, ugly, and uncool for an extra decade? (I'm referring to the effects of senescence, not my current state - at least not in magnitude).


Sincerely,

Proudly Atrophied

Posted by: Epistaxis at December 5, 2004 10:37 PM
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