December 07, 2004

Ask Tim: Questions about atheism

Okay, I get a lot of questions from people when they find out that I am a hardcore atheist. In the interest of saving myself some time, I will answer some frequently asked questions about being an atheist.
  1. Where did everything come from?
    I don't know. There are a lot of things I don't know, but I don't assume the answer is God to all of them. I don't know what that awful smell is in the hallway of the CS building, but I'm not going to blame it on God. If he doesn't get credit for the unexplainable bad stuff, he doesn't get credit for the unexplainable good stuff. Except golf. That could only have been God.
  2. What do you think happens when you die?
    Well, I'm certainly not looking forward to dying. But I'm not afraid of actually being dead. I reckon it will be just like it was for the billions of years before I was born, which wasn't that bad, except I was a little thirsty.
  3. Don't you want to go to heaven?
    Oh, certainly, don't get me wrong. It would definitely be nice if I was able to live in eternal paradise after dying. Hey, you know what else would be nice? If dogs could give hand jobs. But I don't think either of them is going to happen, no matter how hard I pray.
  4. What about the bible and Jesus' love?
    Well, that's a pretty old book. For all I know, the people that wrote it may have been doing opium. Or maybe the Gospels are Israel's version of Harry Potter, except much much more boring. Or perhaps it was like The National Enquirer - which would explain the miracles - and we're just missing the back page which read "Luke and Thomas seen canoodling at Last Supper - spokesmen deny involvement."
Posted by mill1991 at December 7, 2004 07:39 PM | TrackBack
Comments

I concur. I avidly concur.

Posted by: el Davo at December 17, 2004 07:11 PM

Sometimes you can use their own bible against them...
Another answer to #4:
"Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth. I have come to bring not peace but the sword." (Matthew 10:34)

(ps, my e-mail address is wrong to avoid spam... I'm evilbob22)

Posted by: Evil Bob at June 27, 2005 10:51 AM
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