Broken Wing

Dr. Date can't floss on my level

Today in my class I was quite distracted, so I took to answering Dr. Date's questions, and I thought my answers were slightly better so I'll share them. Also, I have no other ideas and I feel the need to keep cranking out mediocrity. Enjoy!

Dear Dr. Date,
I like this girl I have known for the semester. she is really cute and exciting. sometimes when we stare at each other, i can’t help but feel as if there is some sort of connection between us.

Every time i see her i just wanna take her hand in mine caress her cheek and kiss her. And the way she looks at me sometimes makes me just melt and i get lost in her eyes.

My problem is I suck at reading signals, so as part of me is saying that she likes me, the other part points of to the number of different dates she has a week. I sometimes get jealous at the number of guys she seems to have dates with. Is it common for a girl to tell a guy she likes about all these different dates she has? or does it mean i have indeed miss read signals and she is not feeling anything but friendship for me?

- Confused Romantic

Dear Confused Romantic,
I wouldn't get your hopes up; she doesn't sound like the "settling down" type - the most you can hope for is a single date. Granted, there might be quite a bit of caressing on this date, but you seem to be looking to be more than a one date Horace. Given your timidity up to this point, asking her out now is just begging her to pat you on the head and say "Awwww... how cute!" Nevertheless, she may pity you and say yes, since she is dating so much already. And if you play your cards right (hint: play the "hapless rube" card early and often), you may even find yourself getting some pity sex.

- Dr. Date imposter

Dear Dr. Date,
I’m in a major dilemma, my boyfriend and I have been going out for a few weeks and this weekend was kind of awkward. I live in a sorority and we had a formal this weekend. After the formal we went to a hotel for the night which is when the trouble started. My boyfriend got really drunk, did a cannonball in the hot tub and passed out. So instead of calling it a night I went out with my friend’s boyfriend for a walk. There was definitely a connection but I am unsure if I should pursue this new guy. Please help a girl in need!

- Trouble in AOP

Dear Trouble in AOP,
Clearly you are not on a mission to break down any "sorority girl" stereotypes, so I say go for it. It is obvious your boyfriend is a drunken lout, so dump him regardless of what happens with the other bloke. Trust me - it will not be difficult to find another drunk at a large state university, if that's what you're interested in. In addition, all girls secretly hate each other anyways (Dr. Date has seen Mean Girls), so you have nothing to lose by going behind your friends back with her man.

- Dr. Date imposter

Dear Dr. Date,
I was reading ‘Not a party girl’s’ entry on Friday I am kind of in the same boat. I’m a guy, not really a party guy, but just like to hang out. Where are all these non-party girls at? It seems like all the girls are partiers and just go after all the sleazy guys, when in fact there are other guys all around the place who are much better. Also, Dr. Date, you said to go to the rec center to find someone, but its kind of awkward to just go up to someone, especially at the rec center. What’s your take on all this?

- Not a party guy

Dear Not a party guy,
I hate to break it to you, but asking girls out is going to involve going up to them, and (gasp!) talking to them. The main piece of advice I can give to you here is this: stop being such a pussy.

You asked where these party girls are. There have been plenty of socially disadvantaged like this throughout history. For a record of them, walk through a graveyard sometime and look for the tombstones that are by themselves. There are probably thousands of women at the University who aren't party girls, and they have one thing in common: they will all die alone.

- Dr. Date imposter Posted by mill1991 at December 9, 2004 04:22 PM | TrackBack