Cast:(I have given them pseudonyms)
The brewery was closing, so we had to finish our beers fast. But these are not watered-down mass produced light beers. These things are thick, stout, microbrews. Chugging these things is like chugging oatmeal. We managed to get them down, though, and headed to the game, dizzy, stumbling, and as full as we would be if we had just finished Thanksgiving dinner.
At this point, Ludacrits needed to go to the ATM. We were a little worried, because he has a tendency to spend a lot of money in Milwaukee. One time we invited him down (from Green Bay) to a keg party in our apartment and he brought his own keg, just in case we were getting a kind of beer he didn't like. Another time he brought down an entire case, ended up just drinking out of our Kegerator (yes, we had a kegerator, awesome I know), and left all his beer with us. And, he always bought lots of shots and drinks at Murphy's and Caffrey's. So, making a note of history, Luda wisely took out all the money he would need and gave me his ATM card with the instruction that I was not to give it back that night under any circumstances. At this point I feel the need to insert some kind of foreshadowing, but I think its pretty clear already what's going to happen.
Tone Loc and Joynt were both Wisconsin students at the time (though Tone has since enrolled at a less communist institution). Nonetheless, we let them sit by us at the game. Jared had worked his charisma, and was able to get into the game about half an hour before any other students. He secured us front row seats in the corner of the endzone after kicking some old ladies and handicapped people out of them. By the way, these are the best seats in the Bradley Center because they are just offset enough so that you can view the whole court, and they do not have the backboard in the way like endzone seats. So, nice work, Jared. But the thing was we had just scored the best seats in the house, and we had these ass-clowns in Wisconsin shirts sitting next to us. It was kind of embarrassing, so we had to periodically pour our beers on them during the game so that people wouldn't know they were with us.
There is a strict policy at MU games that students can only purchase one beer at a time. It is a good policy, because otherwise anybody could buy beer for his underage friends. The policy had not been completely fleshed out for that season, though, so it was only enforced in the student section. We had just started getting settled in our seats when we turned to see Ludacrits coming down into our section carrying many more large Miller Lites than you would imagine a 100 pound man can carry. It turns out that if you went one concession stand over from the student section, they would sell you as many beers as you want. You could probably buy it by the gallon if you wanted. To test this theory, I went up wearing my student section t-shirt to try to buy multiple beers - surely they would recognize I was a student and refuse me. I was 21, but even now people tell me I look like I'm 18. Two years ago, I looked anywhere from a max of 18 years old down to possibly infant. The woman asked me if I was a student, and I told her I was an alumni. Somehow buying this, she started filling up tub after tub of beer for me. We drank a lot of beer that game, mostly paid for by Ludacrits. The game went by superfast, and Dwyane Wade was awesome, as always. He had one spectacular dunk which, amazingly, I still remember.
After the game we went to the bars in downtown Milwaukee. It wasn't long before Ludacrits realized that he had already spent all of his money and started begging me for his ATM card back. Of course I gave it to him, because with Ludacrits there is always the threat of physical violence. Seriously, I'm surprised I remembered this much. So, Dad, Joynt, anyone else who reads this who was there, did I forget anything?
Posted by mill1991 at December 11, 2004 02:50 PM
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My best memory, well two, from that day was the look of the floor in front of our seats after the game. Had to be there to enjoy this, but is was almost as if the janitor swept all the beer cups from the entire BC into that corner where we were sitting. But no, amazingly they were just ours, and the best part, most paid for by a one millionaire Ludacrits. Second, I believe that was the quickest game in NCAA history. I don't have the offical sanctioned stats, but I'd be willing to bet on it. Man, it flew by, ahhh, good memories.
Posted by: #1 Dad at December 12, 2004 12:57 PMFor about $1, you can have a tour of the Heineken brewery in Amsterdam that includes a 45 minutes sampling session. But 1) they don't even really brew Heineken there these days and 2) Heineken only comes in one kind. So the "tour" was a movie and the "sampling session" was as much beer as you can get the waitress to bring you in 45 minutes. Then, and only then, do they allow you in the gift shop. Brilliant.
I also toured the Summit brewery this fall. It was very informative. The lady who conducted the tour really knew her stuff, but after I asked approximately 50 questions, she ended up giving me a copy of Beer for Dummies.
Posted by: Kaitlin at December 12, 2004 02:12 PMDad, I'd be willing to bet yesterday's game went by pretty quickly for you guys. Or were you so busy impersonating Freeway on the phone with me that you didn't notice there was a game going on?
Posted by: Tim at December 12, 2004 04:42 PMwhat's with the "cough-cough"? milwaukee is awesome. totally could take minneapolis in a fight. i might be a little biased having grown up there, but whatever. MY best bradley center memory is going to see "nickelodeon live" in fourth grade. it was awesome. mike o'malley (host of "GUTS" and current star of "yes, dear"--i know, i'm so hollywood) picked me to answer a question and i got on the jumbotron. and i got a free neon yellow nickelodeon hat. it was a great day. ten years later, my mom had the nerve to throw that hat away. i'm never talking to her again.
Posted by: Stephanie at December 12, 2004 11:09 PMI agree Milwaukee is awesome - but beautiful is one of the last words I would use to describe it. It could definitely kick the twin cities ass in a fight , though. The coughing was also induced from industrial pollutants in the Milwaukee air.
Posted by: Tim at December 13, 2004 10:07 AMhey now--sure there are pollutants, but not so much by the bradley center--more along I94 near miller park. and milwaukee in the summer is definitely beautiful. you can smell all the factories along the freeway then, but the lakefront is great.
although maybe i just feel the way parents of ugly babies do. all parents think their kids are cute, but sometimes you see a really ugly baby and wonder how the parent doesn't see it; like parental love aside, damn that kid is ugly. maybe milwaukee is my ugly kid.
but how could that be?? milwaukee's so pretty. it's a fact.
Well done, Miller. Here are a couple of the only things I can honestly remember from the twenty minute game.
Tone Loc and I had NUMEROUS objects thrown at us during the course of the game, including beer cups, a foam Wisconsin cheese head, and an infant with Badger ears. Although the security guard was standing three feet in front of us, he didn't react once except to slyly toe the foam hat underneath the stands.
At random times throughout the game, many of us could be heard to utter the phrase, "The dingo ate my jumpshot!" in a poor Australian accent to bring then-Wisconsin star Kirk Penney to his knees. Kirk Penney is from New Zealand.
This was also the day when Miller said, "We're in like flint." This prompted a massive discussion of what in the heck the real saying is, and more importantly, what it even means.
While standing in line to get in before the game, a friendly Marquette fan offered me a Dorito. Another Jesuit, upon seeing the red underneath my coat, heroically dove in front of me and crushed the hapless Dorito to dust, bellowing, "Fuck Bucky!" Touche, fucker, touche.
I'm pretty sure the beer served at the brewery came on a dish with a knife and fork to cut slices for sampling.
Watching Critser bring down the beer was like watching Dennis the Menace's mom balance all the dishes he upset in the kitchen on every inch of her body during the opening credits. Two of you will enjoy that reference. MIIIIILLLLEEERRRRRR!
Much fun was fuzzily had by all.
Posted by: Joynt at December 13, 2004 08:37 PMI don't recall but is that the same day that Luda threw the shot of Knob Creek over his shoulder and got asked to leave Turners.
The look on his face was priceless, you know the one where he tries to act like he didn't do it.
Thats all I got.
Posted by: Jared at December 16, 2004 12:53 PMThat was quite the night of nights. One of my most remembered moments (actually, one of my only remembered moments) is that Ludacritz was giving me static for being from Wisconsin in the closing seconds of the game. I followed that up with "Yeah man, I mean, we can't all drop out of NWTC." This caused Luda to wobble, followed by him popping me one in the chest and then putting his arm around me, saying "It's good to see you Tone." Other than that, Joynt's and Miller's recollections are about all I could add. And Jared, Critz threw that shot when we were in town for the Cincy game, not the Wisconsin. (Sorry about the delay in my post)
Posted by: Tone Loc at January 2, 2005 10:03 PM