December 21, 2004

My, is it cold out

If you didn't go outside today, I envy you. I had to walk outside for about 100 yards to hand in a paper, so I didn't bother with the scarf. In that 100 yards, my face became the coldest object ever in existence. They freeze bull semen at temperatures that seem balmy by comparison.

Speaking of scarfs, I really need help. I seriously question whether I am mentally retarded every time I have to attempt to wear a scarf. Is there a technique, like tying a tie, that I was supposed to have been taught by my parents? Because I know no such technique. You see, my parents raised me in a religion where scarfs were not allowed. It was sort of the opposite of Islam - you were required to show as much skin as possible. Therefore, it is a sin to wear socks and shirts, not to mention scarfs. For it is written, "He who shall covereth himself in silks and threads shall be smoten with great vengeance. For what your father has created, let no man hide, unless he has big puss-oozing sores or something." It then goes on to talk about the proper ways to pray in order to have God on your side for sporting competitions. Posted by mill1991 at December 21, 2004 10:31 PM | TrackBack

Comments

There are all sorts of fashionable ways to wear a scarf: http://secure.www.gap.com/html/shops/gap/scarf_w_main.asp

But, in weather such as this, I recommend NONE of them. Here's what you need to do (I wish I had graphics, but I'm just not that cool):

1) Hold the scarf flat with one end in each hand.
2) Find the middle of the scarf and hold it up to your mouth. Try to cover as much of your face as possible.
3) Wrap each end all the way around your neck so the ends both end up hanging in front, covering your ears as much as you can.
4) If the scarf is long enough, tie the ends to keep them from sliding around inside your coat and leaving a patch of neck skin exposed to the elements.
5) Step outside and try not to cry.

Posted by: Kaitlin at December 23, 2004 07:35 AM

Hey, I just randomly stumbled upon your journal..quite amusing... about your question about scarves: I like to take it and fold it in half, then I take that and put it around my neck, then I take the two loose ends and draw them through the other end of the scarf that is in the form of a loop..then all you need to do is pull on it to tighten. Hope that helps!

Posted by: Whitney at December 24, 2004 03:35 PM
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