February 01, 2005

Groundhog Day Quickly Approaching

As everybody knows, tomorrow, February 2, is Groundhog day, the day when we find out absolutely nothing and nothing remotely important ever happens. What most people don't know is that Groundhog Day is only one in a series of many rodent-themed holidays. For instance, March 3 is Beaver Day. If a beaver comes out of his dam and all his hair on one side sticks straight up from sleeping on it wrong, then your rash will go away without any ointment. If the beaver's hair looks mostly normal, then you should see a doctor about the rash, and he will prescribe you some kind of balm or salve.

Another rodent holiday is June 6, known as Porcupine Day. This holiday is very popular in Manitoba, for reasons I don't need to mention. Here is how it works: On June 6 a porcupine comes down from his tree. If his quills are sticking up, then your summer will be filled with passion, and your car will run quite well as long as you change your oil every 3000 miles (it seems like an odd combination, but that's because it was recently combined with another holiday, Aardvark Day). If the quills aren't sticking up, then you will be a pathetic loner all summer and your car will spontaneously burst into flames on the interstate. Posted by mill1991 at February 1, 2005 10:55 AM | TrackBack

Comments

Great entry son, I must say your best in some time. It is coincidential that the sign of the beaver is much like the "weekend wing".
Notorious DAD

Posted by: #1 DAD at February 1, 2005 09:32 PM
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