April 04, 2005

Something I'd like to get off my chest

  1. If I'm ever retiring as coach of a local high school sports team, and my wife offers to buy me a dinner, we better not fucking be going to Applebee's. I didn't dedicate my whole life to instructing bratty suburban teenagers so that, when I finally do retire, I could eat at a shitty corporate chain restaurant.
  2. If somehow I do end up at Applebee's for my retirement dinner, and one of the waitresses comes up to me and asks me for help, I will definitely tell her to fuck off. I don't work at Applebee's, remember? I'm the guy who just retired. It doesn't matter that she knew to refer to me as "coach." I don't care if she calls me the "Duke of Awesome," you can hang up your wall tchotchkes by yourself.
Posted by mill1991 at April 4, 2005 10:43 PM | TrackBack
Comments

And if I'm the school custodian during your retirement, I'm certainly not going to pause while sweeping up after your spaz female "athletes" to wax nostalgic about your pathetic career. But I will definitely have the bushy mustache.

Posted by: Joynt at April 5, 2005 05:31 PM
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