It is with great pleasure that I present to you this free book of time saving tips. I want you to have it. What? No, I do not want it back. No, no, no, I don't want any money for it, you can just have it. Huh? No, I haven't read it myself. That's the thing. In exchange for this book, I don't want anything except for you to read it. Then, everytime you want to waste 10 minutes of my life by telling me a stupid story about your family or your dogs or your favorite TV show, you must first give me one of the tips that you have read from the book, so that I can get those 10 minutes of my life back.
What? Why are you crying? I'm really doing this for you. Do you really want to be known as the person who robs precious minutes of my valuable time every day? With these tips, I can save up to an hour every day, while only losing the 10 minutes that you insist on stealing with your semi-coherent ramblings. So, on the whole, you could potentially make my life even more productive, despite my having to put up with those seemingly endless strings of words you call stories.