October 16, 2004

Winona State vs. Northern State Preview

This Saturday the Winona State Warriors and their gay hippy warrior mascot return to the friendly confines of Midwest Wireless Stadium to take on Northern State. No, not Northern State, the trio of female hip-hoppers from New York, but the Northern State University football team from Aberdeen, South Dakota. Not that it matters - there isn't a single person in either the rap group or the football team that can cover Chris Samp.

You may remember last year (I sure do), when Winona State defeated Northen State 49-27 at the Metrodome. Samp had nine catches for 154 yards and three scores as the Wolves' secondary was unable to keep up despite their homoerotic stretching routine that several of Samp's friends witnessed before the game. Seriously, it was disturbing.

After the game, Samp was mobbed by autograph seekers young and old, but he stayed at the stadium for hours after he had to. He is only too happy to accomodate his legions of fans. It is this sort of selflessness that exemplifies Chris Samp. He is truly not just the best college football player in the country, but a better man than the pope and Gandhi combined. Samp is expected to easily surpass his yardage total from the Northern State game last year, with the caveat that, if the game isn't close, he might decide to leave after halftime to volunteer at a local soup kitchen. Posted by mill1991 at October 16, 2004 1:46 PM