April 4, 2005

Samp travels forward in time at draft combine

Chris Samp, wide receiver extroardinaire and potential candidate for the papacy, is busy preparing for the upcoming NFL Draft. Samp participated in the pre-draft combine along with several other less talented prospects. During his physical trials, Samp astounded scouts and other on-lookers during his 40-yard dash, as he ran so fast that he broke the universe's speed limit (the speed of light), traveling forward in time approximately 3.8 seconds.

Samp is believed to be the first potential draftee to break the light barrier, although it is rumored that Darrell Green travelled forward in time 2.3 seconds during his draft workout, when timing technology was not as advanced as it is today. In other combine workouts, Samp's exploits were amazing enough that, had he been competing in the World's Strongest Man competition, he probably could have won going away. For instance, he did 30 reps squatting a platform with a bunch of girls in bikinis, and he shattered the combine record for the caber toss. Posted by mill1991 at April 4, 2005 12:09 PM