Somehow I managed to stay up until about 4 am last night and got up at 8. And then worked on my painting until 4 am. Caffieine is the only thing pushing me through at this point, had 2 cups painting which is a lot more than usual. I am living off that stuff this week, it is one of the few things keeping me coherent (kind of). I don't usually drink coffee but his week has been the exception and I have started to get a headache without- lametron....its the only thing keeping my head up yet I know how terrible it is to get in a pattern of drinking it again... damn my vices.
Yeeesh. Feel like I got hit in the head with any number of blunt objects when I wake up. Probably did. Very disoriented when I wake up from exhaustion, feel like I'm being pulled in and out of sleep constantly, like I keep falling asleep but I'm dreaming that I'm awake in my bed and then I wake up and get confused. Mildly hilarious if I wasn't so discombobulated. That doesn't look like it's spelled right at all... I've noticed that when I'm exhausted, when is usually considered multitasking (aka highly functioning ADD) just morphs into full blown ADD. It literally takes me half an hour to get to bed after I've decided to go because I keep remembering things I want to do or get caught up watching some video or get an idea for something and have to write it down or tell someone and then I write a long email or letter or text and end up rambling like I am right now.. I also like how when I am super busy I am very organzied for the things I need- especially with my to do lists, but all other aspects of my life fall apart. My room, save my bed, is a complete disaster area. I havent done laundry in 2 weeks or been grocery shopping in at least 2 months...
It's Saturday. I went to bed at 3. Got up at 12. 9 hours of sleep? Finally. However, still exhausted. Can't stop yawning/eye watering. Only thing keeping me away is being out in the freezing cold- we went to watch Christiaan's little brother play rugby down at park point, so basically the windiest area with all the chill from the lake. Brr. Justin, Andrew, Christiaan and I all had to huddle/snuggle like penguins to keep warm. Sounds awkward but nothing is awkward when it's that cold. Went back to the apartment. Had to honestly avert my eyes from my bed, as it is calling my name and looking comfier than ever before... Family came up to watch the show (which went amazingly) and got flowers afterwards :) then went out with the boys afterwards. And of course, because I put sleep the lowest on my list of priorities for some odd reason I didn't get to bed till 5:30 and woke up at 9. Also, noticed that these journal entries have gotten shorter. And my attention span is dwindling.
Friday. 12 hours of sleep. In 5 days. Christ on a cracker that's a new low. Granted, there have been no all nighters, I think that's what is keeping me going strong right now. I don't have a sleep schedule, I am basically running on a series of naps. That can't be healthy. Also, feel like death warmed up. Went and printed pictures 10-12, worked 12-3, and then left at 4 to set up the stage for the dance show tonight so no time for a real nap apparently.... Surprisingly organized for dance, probably because I made up a to do/packing list back when I was coherent (4 days ago at least). Thank Claude for adrenaline. And Hershey's bars. Because that is what I was running on for the entire show. Hard to tell if the shakes are from the nerves/adrenaline, caffiene, or need to sleep. Getting to the point where I keep zoning out/get distracted by very insignificant things. Like organizing skittles by color while waiting to go on deck for our first dance. Hrmmmm. Will I be going to bed early tonight? You'd think so. But, of course, this busy weekend is the same weekend my best friend who I haven't seen in 4 or 5 months is in town. Such is life. Also, have basically stopped picking up/answering my phone/texts/facebooks this week. No sure why. Hasn't gotten me to sleep any earlier.
Oh! And happy dress day! I have worn a dress every Friday since last year spring semester.
So it's Thursday. I was up till 4 am cutting out stuff for my painting. Oh and on a lovely side note, the cold I was starting to get last week has attacked my whole body (apparently the body needs sleep to heal, weird) Then got up at 6 for work. I was so exhausted it took me 10 minutes 3 alarms, and 3 wake up calls for get my eyes to actually focus on something, literally had to drag myself out of bed. Attempted to call into work, but no such luck. Figured I might as well get paid to be awake if I was going to be up anyways. Had a full backpack and tripod in one hand and struggled to carry my 4ft by 5ft painting from my apt to the painting studio. To call it a struggle is an understatement as I am barely 5 ft myself and would usually use both hands for that instead of trying to balance it with one hand. Holy buckets Batman. The only way I make it through work was the fact that I downed 2 cups of coffee in about 30 seconds and then jammed out on the walk down to the kitchens. Fortunately this job doesn't exactly require brain power, most of the jobs are fairly monotonous (example: labeling sandwiches). Also had time for a cappucino before class so that was good, had the caffiene tremors for half the day. Made it through all of my classes without falling asleep- quite the feat. Surprisingly not tired. Not surprisingly very slap happy.. When I hit this point of sleep deprivation everything is funny. Also, I have no filter. As my buddy Sean likes to call it, my third base coach is sleeping on the job. I pretty much say anything, no holds bar. I can't even begin to count the amount of "that's what she said" jokes I pulled out at our 5 hour dress rehearsal...
You would think that I would go to bed at a decent hour. But nooooooo. I stay up and counsel my best friend till 3 am. And then have to get up at 9..
In light of finals week, and being an art major, most of my projects are due next week instead of actual finals week. Which means I will be sacrificing a lot of sleep this week as I have 4 studio classes. Yeesh. So my journal will most likely be cataloging my descent into insomnia/delirium haha, fun. Also, I have written all of my journals down and will be typing them up Sunday night, so I don't get distracted online (aka the black hole that is Facebook, Youtube and Stumbleupon.) This will most likely happen more and more as the week goes on. So it is day 2 (Wed) and I have had 5 hours of sleep in 3 days. Off to a great start. I have been working on my 4ft by 5ft painting for painting 2 final that is due tuesday. Coincidentally I also have my photo final due then also. Fantastic.. Soooo tonight I will be up meticulously exacto knifing out 16 shapes for every snowflake design (there are 100 snowflakes, each with 16 pieces...) Whenever I have a lot to do I make a to do list for the week. This week I have a to do list for the week and then individual ones for the day, scheduling out hour by hour what I need to be working on. Apparently my OCD is compensating for my ADD...
So for my journal, because finals week is swiftly approaching and I am starting to feel extremely overwhelmed/sick/run down, you name it, I wanted to focus on something lighter. So I will be writing about the things that have made me laugh the hardest each day- and dissecting inside jokes when necessary.
Good friend Alex and I from back home plan on making a PSA about wearing sleeves= preventing teen pregnancy in our town, Here's the thought process.
Our county has the highest rate of teen pregnancy in Wisconsin.
There are a few mormon families in our town.
Mormon's successfully practice abstinence-also cover up shoulders.
They must be on to something...
Clearly shoulders are the most enticing part of the body, lusting teens astray
Betsy (our mutual good friend and big time prep, think JCrew model) so eloquently pointed out- oh for sure I see those bare shoulders and I'm like " MMMMMMMM wanna do it?" (the nicer version of what she really said, which was extremely out of character, and hilarious)
Because we live in a some what rural (Hick Town, USA) area, there are lots of wife beaters and cut off t-shirts worn by the men. And lots of shoulder action on the ladies side.
Obviously the high teen pregnancy rate is directly caused by this.
When the young ladies of Manitowoc County see bare shoulders, they can't resist and throw the idea of abstaining to the wind.
We wanted to prevent this by making a billboard that said something along the lines of:
Practice Safe Sex; Wear Sleeves.
Also, at our soccer game last night ( in the 33 degree chill, which is the weatherman's way of politely saying below freezing) my friend Tom wanted to huddle up to get warm. Then he started rocking back and forth, rubbing up against us to keep warm, justifying it by saying- hey that's how penguins do it. And retorting with "you've got a lot of growing up to do" to anyone who argued. Doesn't sound anywhere as funny when you write it down, but it had me ROFL. Hah!