I hereby sound an alarm to all pro-family Americans. Jolly, the Official Gumdrop Mountain Greeter of the popular children's game Candy Land, is in fact a tool of the liberal boardgame industry being used to promote the homosexual lifestyle to our nation's children.
Jolly (whose name is a synonym for "GAY") is featured prominently on Candy Land's gameboard in a bent-over position, sporting big, colorful, superfluous sunglasses and frills while gesturing with an up-turned pinky. The guy's a candied 1970s Elton John.
Someone alert Jerry Falwell and the Christians tabling in Coffman. They'll want to know about this.