Don’t give me crap for going to this, I expected it to be bad. But my sister- who will watch any movie and love it- wanted to go, and I decided that once in my life I should be a good sibling and spend time with my little baby sis.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have seen a lot of terrible horror movies. Thousands upon thousands, in fact. I think they must actually have a quota of terrible horror movies they have to make each year because they know stupid teens will go to slasher flicks just to see hot sluts get killed at a summer camp. And this time I find myself among these stupid teens (although I myself am not in my teens...)
Besides giving you the stupid parts (I know you can't wait), I will at least be fair and give you what I liked about the movie. So here goes: Um...Liv Tyler is pretty, I guess. And... Well I'm sure there were other things about the movie that didn't totally suck.
And now to the main argument for the crappiness of this movie, and the downfall of the horror genre and Western civilization as a whole.
I guess I can understand why in the 70's and 80's, slasher movies were really scary and had some sort of real relevance and true fear. Ever since Psycho, the idea of a strange, creepy villain who randomly kills twenty-somethings has fascinated the general public and presented a good argument for abstinence, since everyone knows the virgin always survives. And I love (some) slashers, such as Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger, etc. But how many different ways can people be killed for no reason at all? And really, think about it: what reason do any of these slashers have to kill people? I mean, Freddy Krueger was getting revenge for being burned to death, but what was his excuse in the sequels? Just for giggles? And why did Michael Myers keep killing even after he got rid of all his family members?
This is why people hate horror movies. As I sat watching this movie, the only thing I could think of was: what is their motivation? Why are these random, apparently angry young killers even bothering with such a ridiculous plot? I mean seriously, if you can give me an explanation for any of the events of this movie, please, for the love of all that is good, tell me. I just don't understand how you can make a movie with no plot. And it's not like the boyfriend couldn't have taken that guy with the bag on his head and those too bitches with stupid masks. He had a GUN. I don't know much, but I do know that guns beat knives. And honestly, there are just so many questions I can think of, I don't even want to bother. We aren't even rewarded with a glimpse of their faces for sitting through this crap.
The filmmakers then feel the need to show some young Mormon boys discover the apparently dead body of Arwen. Oh, and the killers get away and say, "It'll be easier next time." Yeah. No. It will never get any easier to sit through this crap.
People, if we keep going to these films, they will keep making them. I know, it's a hard concept to understand, but stay with me here. This is an evil that needs to be stopped. I know, I know, I know they are planning a sequel for this piece of overblown crap, but don't see it! I'm begging you. Because the more crappy horror movies they make, the less good ones. I'm so sick of watching awful films like The Grudge, the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Freddy Vs. Jason, or whatever the hell else they've been churning out over the past few years.
So yeah, in conclusion, don't see this movie.