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When A Stranger Calls

I watched this movie last night.  And by “watchedâ€? I mean I saw the first half hour and then I fell asleep.  It was okay at first, kind of frightening, and Carol Kane always has a weird charm to her that makes me like her in all her movies.  But I had to ask myself, if someone called me 10+ times asking me, “Have you checked the children?â€? wouldn’t I actually go check on them?  I mean, that would freak me out and make me immediately go upstairs and check on them.  And even as a babysitter, with or without those damn phone calls, aren’t you supposed to check on the kids anyway?  What a terrible babysitter.  The kids not only were horribly murdered, but what if they got paper cuts or wanted a glass of water?  What if they were crying for their parents or fighting with each other?  That’s just bad babysitting.

The other problem this movie has above all is that everyone has heard this story.  I wasn’t around in 1979, so I couldn’t tell you if this was a popular urban legend even back then, but watching it now, it just doesn’t work.  Everyone knows what happens.  It works better as a story to tell around the campfire than as a horror film.  It’s too simplistic.

So that’s my review of the first half, the half I watched.  Now here’s my sort-of review of the rest.  I saw a bit of the events that occurred after the killer was caught.  So I guess he escaped, went after a very deep-voiced woman, and hid in her closet.  Then I fell asleep and it was a pretty good sleep.  Well, anyway, I kind of felt like it was two separate movies that someone pasted together because they didn’t have enough money to make them both.  It just didn’t make any sense to put the two together.  It made me even sleepier trying to think about it.  So then I fell asleep again.  I’m usually pretty good about not falling asleep during a movie.  I don’t think it’s right to watch the majority of a movie and then puss out about it and turn it off or fall asleep.  But I just really couldn’t watch it.  It was impossible.  It was like watching paint dry or grass grow or some other overused phrases.

So I think I learned a lot from this movie, overall.

1. Don’t leave children alone, because they will probably be murdered by a crazy British man who looks very sheepish and shy but is apparently a demented madman.

2. Well, really I guess all I learned was not to leave kids alone.  I mean really, even if there’s no madman, use some common sense, you dumb bitch.

I vaguely remember seeing the remake which came out in 2006 and they wisely stayed away from the second act that made no sense.  It still was ridiculous and stupid, but at least it made some amount of sense.  Although I suppose in both instances, the killers had no real reason to kill anyone, which as I’ve said before, bothers me.  Yes, I know that real-life killers often have no reason behind their violence, but that’s not interesting in a film.  I want answers, otherwise I would feel tricked and taken advantage of for maybe starting to care about the story or the characters.  What kind of a movie doesn't even have an explanation at the end?

Also, I think I’ll try to rent and review this ridiculous new Lost Boys remake that I didn’t even know was out on DVD on Tuesday.  You gotta love the straight-to-video releases, I suppose.  But it does make me sad.  Lost Boys: The Tribe.  You can’t get a stupider title than that.  Also, Corey Feldman actually says, “Your girlfriend’s a suck-monkey" in the trailer.  I'm sure many men would love a suck-monkey for a girlfriend, so why does Mr. Feldman have to be such a killjoy?