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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Most people I talk to now think that I'm talking about the remake with Jessica Biel.  I am not.  I would never talk about that movie.

So the original is a little dated.  And the remake has a sleek look to it.  But that does not in any way make that a good movie.  In fact, it makes it a terrible movie.  I have no supporting argument for any of this, but you don't care.  I think sometimes that people just enjoy remakes better because the colors aren't so washed out, the special effects are comparatively better, and they recognize the actors.  Hurray.  I think I already wrote about this.  I don't remember.  But I think if you're judging a film (especially in the horror genre) by these qualifications, you need to really reevaluate your life.  Maybe it's just me, but I think there's something superior about an older film in terms of fear.  That grainy, old film-style is a lot scarier than the over-saturated look that the remake has to offer.

It's been awhile since I've seen this movie, and I have to admit that the first time I saw it, I just thought it was odd, but in a good way.  I take that back, I still think that.  It's just weird. There's no explanation about where Leatherface comes from or why that family is so fucked up.  That's just the way it is.  I know I have said previously that I don't like films with no explanation, but I guess for this film, I take that back.  I'm full of contradictions.  All I know is that when Leatherface opens up the door to his little meat locker and grabs that girl outside the door, I screamed.  That was so messed up.  I don't remember a similar scene in the remake.  I do kind of remember that douche-bag guy hanging from the ceiling and his toes playing piano keys since he was hanging from a meat hook.  Not really the same.  I didn't get the same impression that the Leatherface of the remake had any connection to meat preparation.  I guess they did say he was fired from a meat-packing plant or something, but the layout of his home was confusing and silly.  The meat locker in the original is much more straightforward.  Can you imagine being hung alive from a meat hook in your back?  I don't want to imagine it, I take that back.

Maybe I'm just cynical.  But think about it, how would you feel if you put all that hard-work and effort and sweat into this original horror film, no one has seen anything like it.  And then thirty-some years later, some douche from MTV no doubt thought that the original was not good enough and a remake must be commissioned to show off the sexy hotties of the day, who will immediately be massacred (with a Texas chainsaw, I think) for the masturbatory pleasure of the viewing audience.  I would be insulted.  If you think about it, they don't remake books.  Or paintings.  Or sculptures.  (Of course there are books, art, etc influenced by previous works, but not outright remakes, the actual physical "replacement" of a previous work.)  What a weird and off-putting concept.  Poor Leatherface.  He just wants his old meat locker back.   Guaranteed these remake-sequels will continue though.  When there is money to be made, the devil and the movie studios make a deal and we are treated to the results.