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I know I haven't written/reviewed anything in awhile, but I was inspired by a friend to start writing again. I feel like I haven't watched any good horror movies lately anyway, so I don't think you're missing anything on that part. But I did watch this French movie on Netflix instant, which has become my greatest connection to foreign and forgotten horror films.

The movie starts out as a sort of boring, out of place crime drama type thing, with the main characters driving away from the cops, someone gets shot and dies, and they all have to leave Paris and go on the lam. Or I think that's what happened, I was making coffee at this point and was just waiting for some blood or gore or something to get my mind off of things.

Luckily, I didn't have to wait too long for two characters, Farid and Tom, to end up in a hostel full of attractive employees who are apparently part-time prostitutes. Two women, who happen to be sisters, seem particularly interested in Tom. Farid doesn't want to engage in any activities with the women, because he has a girlfriend. Tom couldn't care less, and I wasn't sad when the women's brother showed up to kick Tom's ass. It was a good start. But at this point, I thought to myself, you know what would make this movie worthwhile? Nazis. God heard my prayer and obliged. Now we had a real movie.

Jacob (a friend who would like to be taught the basics of horror filmography) and I cheered and screamed at the plight of poor Farid, who was being chased by hillbillies, Nazis, mutant babies, and an obese butcher. My only regret about this movie was that Farid had to die. I don't care if I just ruined it for you, it's a horror movie; there can only be one survivor. After Tom and Farid are gone, the two main-main characters show up. Yasmine and the other guy. I think his name is Alex, but I'm not 100% sure. Yasmine is the true star though, because she is the Final Girl. The whole point of the movie is to be a French Texas Chainsaw Massacre with Nazis. In fact, I think that was the working title. The Nazi family is all about pure blood and the core family values of Hitler's reign. They want to add to their family, so what better way than to kidnap Yasmine and force her to have more children for them. This is where things get interesting. Yasmine meets the mutant incest babies of two family members, the insane leftover Nazi who is older than hell and mostly an asshole, and the big fat butcher guy who cuts up her friends and feeds them to the family. How wholesome.

After Yasmine sort of causes a coup, the whole movie is about revenge and murder. It's a great cathartic experiences to watch Yas kill all those Nazis with a great variety of weapons and a ton of blood. At the end, her white wedding dress is coated in blood and she finally reaches the police. It was such an echo of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre that there was nothing left to do but really appreciate the entire endeavor. Was it a masterpiece? No. But I would highly recommend it to anyone who wants to learn to scream in French or how to appropriately kill Nazis.