Rate yourself on Goleman's Personal and Social Competencies (p. 26-27).
There are five elements in which you can rate your personal and social compentences according to Goleman. These elements include self awareness, motivation, self regulation, empathy, and adeptness to relationships. I feel that I have characteristics of each of these elements.
Self Awareness
For a longest time, I felt like I never “fit� (in school and in the world in general). Being a lesbian is not the easiest come to grips with when you are 14 years old. I never really understood it all and was afraid of where this would take me in life. I’d always hear the negative stories of how you would go to H--- when I went the church and it really depressing for me. For quite sometime I wrestle with discovering myself and don’t know if I have a full understanding of everything. I think that emotionally I have figured out who I am, what I stand for, and where I want to go in life. As far as self assessment, I’ve had no chose but to reevaluate myself over and over again. With negative views from society, I always questioned my values and beliefs (not to mention almost all the leadership professors stress values and beliefs in class so I have no choice but to revisit them). I think that taking a lot of things into consideration, I have come along way. As far as self confidence, I have come along way but I still have a long way to go. I think that this is because I was always being compared to my cousins and how well they did in school. It was tough making sure that you got good grades so that you could set a good example for younger cousins. I think that over time, I have gotten better at trusting myself more.
Self Regulation
It is important to be able to adapt to different situations. I have not mastered this yet but think that I am developing the skills necessary to adapt to situations.
Motivation
What makes me tick? I’ll tell you. I am easily motivated if I am interested, but who isn’t? I think that once I get the ball rolling, I can accomplish anything. Motivation, is one of my strengths, in my opinion.
Empathy
This is also one of my greatest strengths. I am pretty good at determining when someone needs to talk or have something on their mind. I think this is because I work at the front desk and get to witness first hand a lot of situations. These situations will help me in the future and help me overcome any obstacles I encounter.
Social Skills
Okay. Well, I am okay with this one when others begin a conversation but I don’t usually start a conversation. This is something that I need to work on in the future.
Hi Jenn -
My apologies for my late response to you. I missed some of your posts - my sincere apologies.
I can only imagine the challenges you have faced in terms of self awareness. You mentioned, "emotionally I have figured out who I am, what I stand for, and where I want to go in life." Wow - I'm sure it's been very painful along the way, but I am really impressed. The way certain members of society react to sexuality can really take its toll on your self confidence. It sounds like you are finding that you are stronger than you ever thought.
From my perspective, you seem to have a very accurate assessment on your strengths and weakness in terms of Goleman's competencies. The challenge now is to take the next step: how can you slowly work on your weaknesses - how can you work on your social skills? I've seen great improvements in this area over the course of the semester. What else can you do? Join a professional or social organization? Make a point to talk to different people in your classes each week?
At the same time, I also think it's very important to be proud of your strengths (self awareness, motivation, empathy). You have a lot to be proud of, Jenn!
Posted by: Aimee at December 21, 2005 6:52 PMStarting a conversation sometimes becomes a necessity when dealing with other people. You don't want to have dead air between you and the person you are with, do you? So there are a number of ways on how to start a conversation. Like asking general questions, opening general topics, or cracking up a joke.
But of course it is easier said than done. Well, practice can make you better. Having social skills is a good advantage because in this world, we deal with a lot and different people.
Posted by: how to start a conversation at May 22, 2007 11:53 AMMotivation is mostly needed when we don't feel like doing a task or job. You need to get motivated to get your tasks done. If you like what you are doing, you could easily be motivated. But if you don't like it, its hard.
It could be hard to get motivated if that is the case. But you have to in order to finish your tasks. You need to have focus and think of other factors that could motivate you. Maybe the reward or the result that you would get if you have done it even though you don't like the process.
If you are not used to starting a conversations, I think you really have to work with your on with your conversation skills. Part of your social skills is handling conversations with people or starting one.
Conversation skills is helpful in developing your social skills. You can build good relationship with people, make friends, settle differences or conflicts through conversations. Dealing with other people or newly-met persons would be much easier if you have the conversation skills.
Posted by: Conversation Skills at September 25, 2007 12:25 PMThinking positive all the time is also a way for you to get motivated. Releasing all the negativities in you will make you feel better.
The Sedona Method is the best way to release. It is very effective if you want to attain emotional wellness.
Posted by: sedona method at April 4, 2008 10:19 AMi get those all the time...its probably a virus...
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