Reasons vs. Excuses
As you can see, I have not been doing well with my blog entries lately. A part of me says that I should go back, edit and write out long[er] passages. At the same time, I wrote what I wrote on those days because I just didn't feel like writing a whole lot.
I know, I know. From an professional standpoint, this can be an irresponsible thought. What if I had a job? I can't just call-in and say "I don't feel like working today, so don't count on me being there." Sorry. There's no real reason why I didn't write more. There are, however, excuses.
Ah, now the topic of excuses. I have been on an excuse rant for quite a long time. (Which could be the reason why my entries have been so scarce in content.) But I'm not talking about reasons, right? I'm talking about full-blown excuses. These excuses are more to myself than towards others. I'd say 98% of my excuses are a means of procrastination. And I am seriously behind in all of my work for the entire semester.
I have goals too. There are at least two dozen, no joke, twenty-four things on my list to complete that are outside of academics. You might be thinking, it's no big deal, heck I've got way more than that on my to-do list! But, even though the things on my list are small things, (i.e. organize photos from my camera, put my post-it notes back in the drawer, etc.) I still don't get them done. It's like the game of LIFE or Monopoly. I just want to move one space forward and I still can't. And, worst of all, it's all my fault. Pessimist? Procrastinator? All of the above, please.
I know, it's not supposed to be easy. I had a discussion with my folks once, about this. It was a few years ago and I was on a similar rant like this one, about how difficult it was to complete ALL the things I wanted to do and make plans for the future. My Dad said, "You're in school, how hard could it be?!" You gotta be kidding me, Dad. I was speechless. Come to think of it, I don't think I even gave him a response because I was in so much awe. My Mom chimed in, "No, I think being in school is way more difficult than having a full-time job. With school, homework, part-time work, family time, social time, and making plans for college, or post-graduate work...it can get pretty difficult. With a full-time job, you just work and go home, pay bill/tabs, and work and go home. Being in school is difficult." Thanks Mom.
In no way am I trying to say that having a full-time job is easy. But I suppose that's another story for another day, if I don't make up an excuse before getting to it.
So, in the end, I am sorry that I didn't write more. It's a mix of reasons and excuses but I just wanted to let you know that I am still here and working real hard to earn grades, money, satisfaction, and approval.
On another note, I had dinner with Jenny Lui tonight at Quang Restaurant on Nicollet Ave. I met Jenny Lui about two and a half years ago, when I first entered the GD program at the U of M. She was just about to graduate and she persuaded me to join the Chinese American Student Association to be their webmaster, (which was a bad idea all around). I remember gawking at her design work for GD2 and GD3 and thinking to myself, "I will never succeed in this program." But here I am, almost done. Weird.
Jenny is the first person I've talked to who was able to relate to 99% of the stuff I was interested in, or had already experienced at the U. She also had many of the professors whom I had in the program. We were able to talk freely of our opinions of the various teaching styles of our past and current professors and how we thought the class was handled. There is a different, maybe higher, level of openness among students after we graduate, or are nearing the end of the academic tunnel. In a sense, I don't feel afraid anymore. I don't fear critique as much as before, I don't loath the time spent on reading GD materials. I am beginning to embrace others thoughts, others constructive opinions. By constructive, I mean, not degrading or rubbish-like words. All in all, it's the beginning of a very fine end. One to which deserves even more attention to detail.