I think I've been quite off-topic for the past few weeks. Instead of focusing on consumption issues/experiences/activities, I think I've been keeping just a regular journal of my daily life. Which can be boring for you to read, but nonetheless, somewhat entertaining I hope?
Also, I've been writing and addressing my blog to an entity that may or may not exist at all. You, you, you. Who are you? Are you in my class? Do you teach a class? Do I know you? Have we met?
If not, then, nice to meet you. I'm Vivian and I'm behind in all of my schoolwork. There, I fessed up, now it's your turn. And if you are a student too–most likely in my class–then you and I are probably in the same boat.
I consciously didn't want to spend any more money today, other than for parking which was
It was difficult. REAL difficult. Because I kept thinking, I could afford this, I need to eat anyway, I'm starving, I'm really hungry. But class is almost over. But I have a lot of extra change in my pocket. Maybe the vending machine? No, it's just junk food. I'm on a strict diet. No I'm not, who am I kidding?
And thoughts such as these.
But I ended up NOT spending any more money for the rest of the day. Which made me feel good. Simply that, good. But I think this whole blogging/recording of my spendings and consumptions affects my spending habits. I just recorded a few days worth of heavy spending and I felt guilty and ashamed for being so spendy. Without this journal, I probably would've spend some money on junk food today between classes.
To get off-topic:
I really want to get out of Minnesota. For one, it's the weather. For two, it's personal; things I really can describe because I can't pinpoint my desire to leave. My whole family is here. My newborn niece, how could I leave and miss her growing years? And how the heck am I going to earn enough money to support myself in a different state? I have a lot of research to do and the road ahead is patchy, bumpy, filled with invisible potholes, loops, loose gravel, and so much more. Scary. But if I continue to stay here, I'm going to rot, mold, fuzz-up, shrink away, melt, and spoil from boredom. Even scarier.