October 02, 2006
Doomed to a life of sound bites, or, what will your tombstone say?
Every time I sit down to write my blog, I have one more opportunity to realize that writing cogent, topic-centered narratives is not exactly my strongest suit. Don't get me wrong, I certainly can write. I've written tons--more than I can imagine anyone would ever seriously want to read. Still, this is accomplished largely by writing bits and pieces and then assembling them together and smoothing out the seams. Right now I've got about six or seven articles going, some of which were started over a year ago. Sometimes I look back on what I read and think "I have absolutely no memory of writing those 20 pages, but they sound pretty decent so I'm going to go with it." But a blog is meant to be written quickly. It's supposed to replace the social interaction that I'm not having--because I'm sitting here, with the other half of the Munson-Burk partnership asleep and our feline child asleep on my computer case on the dining room table. It's no Norman Rockwell, but it works.
Believe me when I say that I have quite a bit I'd like to write about. Today was my Digital Media Center Fellowship meeting. I always learn so damn much at those things. It has given me this idea that I should write an article about the scholarship of teaching in speech-language-hearing sciences. I guess that bumps the number of articles I'm writing now up to seven or eight. Seriously, I have been reading an incredible book about learning--I wish I could remember the title. There's nothing like really thinking about the learning process to make a guy (or gal) (and by 'guy' or 'gal' I mean 'professor') realize how much more she/he can do. Sheesh--I really feel like I've been phoning it in the last six year. (NB: this does not mean that I have any intention of giving back the Red Motley award. The money has been spent. I got a really great bed and--horrible dictu--a large TV.)
At the same time, I'm trying to remember a piece of advice I was recently given to THINK BIG and do research that MAKES AN IMPACT. I'm also trying to finish our department's constitution before Jennifer Windsor brains me with the back side of a shovel. I'm working on it, Jennifer, trust me. And then there is the simple matter that I'm woefully behind on my editing duties, and I likely have authors who want my head on a platter. Sorry, Salome, but you can't rush me on that one.
And hey, nothing prepares the mind to THINK BIG and get ready to MAKE AN IMPACT like writing clever lists. What's tonight's topic? Tombstones. What will your say? Take a guess. Post a comment. Let it be a way for me to see that you haven't given up on the Blog of Life-Affirming Anecdotes.
What might my tombstone say? Oh, I don't know. I can only imagine. Why, it might be something like this...
Flawed, but ambitious. But definitely flawed.
He swore like a f**king sailor, but still managed never to sound trashy. N.B., Asterisks to be replaced with actual letters at the discretion of the cemetery
He was never afraid to cry. If anything, he was afraid not to cry.
Forced his family to buy this needless headstone out of sheer vanity--the guy was cremated and his ashes were spread over Disney World, the Marais, and Kosta's Family Restaurant in Buffalo, New York
What will your tombstone say?
P.S. Check out how fat the cat has gotten! Blame Kevin--he feeds her every time she lets out a peep
The Namesake
I always get prostrate and supine mixed up. Which is the one where you are lying on your stomach? I think it's prostrate. Anyway, I just spent about 10 minutes on the floor of my office, prostrate. Why, you ask? Let me count the ways:
(1) The evil, horrible, despicable witch Michelle Bachman is in a close race for the US Congress. How could such a terrible person get even a single vote? She's the most viciously hateful homophobe in the entire state. (Note to members of her district: Why on Earth would you send such a bad person to represent you in congress? Are you trying to one-up Florida for electing Mark Foley?)
(2) Random acts of violence have become so common that the latest school shooting is actually not even the top story on the New York Times website.
Of course, there is much to be happy for, too. I would say that the greatest thing right now is that I will have a namesake. My sister is pregnant. Today marks 20 weeks, so I think it's safe to start broadcasting it on the internet. Please send her best wishes. Unless the ultrasound was wrong, it's going to be a boy. And, best of all, she has decided to name him in honor of his dad and his uncle! So, he's going to be either Abraham Benjamin Munson-Ellis, or Benjamin Abraham Munson-Ellis. Or maybe Ellis-Munson—I forgot how they hyphenated. I'm pretty darn excited. When only the best will do, say uncle, Uncle Ben*.
*Note to my foreign and younger readers: the last sentence was taken from a jingle in an old 1970s/1980s commercial for Uncle Ben's brand rice.