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November 28, 2005
Infidelity
If you are not being treated well in your marriage, is cheating okay?
Is it better or worse than when you're happy in wedlock?
Erin, Brittany, Randi
Posted by at November 28, 2005 4:27 PM | The Curious Incident
Comments
I do not think that it is ever ok to cheat if you are unhappy in a marriage. If you are unhappy in a marriage, you need to make an effort to communicate the issue in a constructive way to your spouse. Also, if you aren't happy in the marriage, chances are that your spouse isn't either, so don't be selfish.
After communicating in healthy, constructive ways and conseling, if it is not able to fix the marriage, then get a divorce, don't run to someone else to fulfill your needs.
I think that it is important for people to realise their needs and if they get into a relationship after a divore, good for them... but don't be doing things while you are still committed to someone else.
Posted by: Robin at November 28, 2005 8:08 PM
I enjoyed how your blog contribution prompted thought about emotional attachments/entanglements. The imagery intimated some real situations - real people (celebs/politicians) we know about. In our own situation rooms this question will haunt each of us, as desire has a way of whispering ways we could get around the "problem" at hand. Deceipt is one thing - a healthy escape from a bad situation is another. These are large issues surrounding Christopher's social world as he solves the crime throughout the novel.
Posted by: Mary F. Wright at November 29, 2005 10:46 AM
Cheating is never ok in a marriage. Someone is always bound to get hurt whether it’s a spouse or child. There is a mature way to deal with the reasons that someone may want to cheat. Marriage counseling seems very accepted and widespread today, so it’s surprising that there are still so many unhappy marriages. Perhaps it has just been a part of society for so long that it does not want to or may never die. In the end I think it is up to each of us to use our minds instead of responding to chemical reactions.
Posted by: Sandy at November 29, 2005 8:47 PM
I don't think cheating is ever okay. People use cheating as an excuss not to deal with their problems. There is always another way to deal with something. People don't have to cheat. If there is a problem then you should get some help to try to fix it and if help doesn't work then just get out of it. Do everything in your power to try to fix it. If abuse or anything like that is involved get help right away. Cheating isn't going to fix anything. You can always be with someone else but first get out of the relationship that you are in.
Posted by: Kimberly at November 30, 2005 11:51 AM
Committing adultery is absolutely unacceptable no matter what the circumstances are. You have made a legal vow to someone, and it is never okay to destroy that vow. If your relationship has fallen apart, then the couple needs to recognize this and take action, whether that be counseling or filing for divorce or some other means. But that action should never include cheating, which can only create more hurt for everyone involved.
Posted by: Rachel at November 30, 2005 8:49 PM
Think of the word cheating. Now think in any circumstance where that word doesnt have the same meaning. There is never a time when cheating is OK, especially when its committing adultery. In my opinion if you are in a relationship that is unhealthy, end it. What good are you doing by not only staying in the relationship but also deciding to give up on it and go and cheat, only adding to the list of relationship problems. Regardless of whether you are happy or not in the relationship, if you decide to cheat on your spouse you are about to be unhappy with the results of such an action. Cheating is one of the few things that really gets me angry, mainly because it is so avoidable and downright hurtful.
Posted by: Nate Miller at December 4, 2005 10:10 PM
Since I have "grown" up I have been told of several instances where adultry has been committed between individuals that I am very close to. Many of these instances are still continuing right now. I don't agree with it, and in one of the cases it really hurt not only the person cheated on, but the children involved as well. I guess before I was told all of this I assumed that people I knew were in these loving and caring long-term marriages, but later to find out they aren't. Shocking. I really detest the cheater. I think that person has little or no self-esteem and has to find a boost somewhere, only in their quest they end up hurting those people that are closest to them. It is quite a difficult situation because once you are cheated on you have a difficult time trusting anyone in your life...and this can bleed into other relationships. It is sad that that person who decides to cheat gets to determine not only how the relationship you have with them will be, but how the rest of your relationships will be that follow.
Posted by: Erin at December 8, 2005 12:49 AM
If you are not being treated well in a relationship I think there are times when this validates having an affair. In a picture perfect world no one would ever cheat on their spouse but in that picture perfect world no spouse would be so lousy as to cause you to have an affair. Being unhappy and unfulfilled in a marriage does not mean your whole life should be the same. Sometime divorce is not option or at least not the best option. I think there is something slightly unnatural about monogamy and we are kidding ourselves when we think two people can remain faithful for a lifetime in today's day and age. The problem is that we are trained to be so devastated when we realize our partner has had sexual relations with another. If it was not for this social training it would be no big deal.
Posted by: EBAffair at September 4, 2010 11:51 PM
I don't think cheating in marriage is ever ok. If you are not treated well, it is important to do something about that. It doesn't give permission to mistreat the spouse. This would end in a spiral and the relationship would be very destructive.
Posted by: cheating in marriage at October 15, 2010 4:31 AM
Infidelity is a complex act. A person can commit infidelity if the spouse does not provide marital needs anymore. A person may commit adultery as well just for the sake of fun and revenge. But no matter what the reason is, it is still morally and lawfully wrong to commit one.
Posted by: check this out at March 24, 2011 5:04 PM
Infidelity is a complex act. A person can commit infidelity if the spouse does not provide marital needs anymore. A person may commit adultery as well just for the sake of fun and revenge. But no matter what the reason is, it is still morally and lawfully wrong to commit one.
Posted by: check this out at March 24, 2011 5:05 PM