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December 5, 2005

Playing for You

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Do we continue to see through the other’s eyes, once a relationship has been dissolved? If so, how does this manifest itself?

-Mary F. Wright

Posted by at December 5, 2005 8:24 PM | What Have You Lost?


I think that a lot of the time, we do see throught the eyes of the other one when a relationship dissipates. It starts as a simple reflective process, when we think back to other times and circumstances, but I think that we then begin to see things as they did in our everyday lives even when they aren't present anymore. So, eventually, we are seeing things as they have seen them, without them ever having to be there to say it or remind us of it.

Posted by: Robin at December 6, 2005 3:05 PM

Not only do we tend to see through the eyes of the other when a relationship fails, but we do so when the relationship partially failed BECAUSE we were unable to see situations their way. It's quite ironic actually--almost as if we grow and change the most due to people we have lost and loved. That they actually make an impression on how we percieve things, mostly because while grieving or doting we focus so strongly on how the relationship failed.

Posted by: Jamie at December 6, 2005 5:14 PM

I think it's natural, after spending a length of time trying to understand the way another person thinks and perceives the world, that we continue to do this even after the relationship is terminated.
This concept touches on the idea that, after someone has deeply touched you and had a strong presence in your life, you never truly see things in the same way. You've taken on some of the characteristics of this other person, you've looked at the world through another's eyes and can't remain blind to what you've seen, even if a relationship ends.

Posted by: Randi at December 12, 2005 2:40 PM