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September 29, 2006

Dan and Debbie

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Do the situations we perceive and the feelings we get from the experience actually relate to what actually happens in the dialogue? Have you ever been in this situation and when did you realize that you were in this type of situation?

Posted by at September 29, 2006 1:08 PM | Criss Cross

Comments

Of course I've felt like that! Even though I hate to admit it, I have been Debbie before. I think most girls have over analyzed a situation with a "Dan." I absolutely loved the line "I think I'm falling." Most people have fallen for "Dan" once in their life. And sometimes you misread the nice guy demeanor for "he so likes me." And then rejection hits! Poor Debbie!

Posted by: Natalie Senske at October 1, 2006 3:42 PM

I think Natalie sumed it up. Most girls have had a "Dan" or two in their life, especialy in middle school who they doodled their name with his last name with lots of hearts instead of taking notes in class. Early in the dating game it's easy to confuse the "nice guy" with "true love" becuase theres no basis for comparison yet.

Posted by: Amy Moe at October 1, 2006 9:32 PM

This reminds me of how every person percieves situations differently. Debbie thinks that there is a romantic connection between her and Dan, while he just thinks of her as a friend. It also shows how middle school girls sometimes think they are in love like right away.

Posted by: Cassandra Rice at October 2, 2006 12:05 AM

I think that it is important to realize the self-centeredness of children in their adolescent years. I know I always thought about what people were going to think about ME and how people reacted to ME and I was so involved in thinkinga bout myself I didn't realize how the real world was actually moving along!! Middle school is a really warped time where your perception of the world is very narrow and self centered, which is why incidents like this happen to almost everyone :)

Posted by: Emily Haine at October 2, 2006 11:45 AM

I think this happens to a lot of people. Misunderstandings between our peers or our significant others happens a lot. I have been in this situation many times, and it just takes a while before I caught on to what was really happening and who really thought what.

Posted by: Anna Hoffman at October 2, 2006 1:35 PM

SOmetimes in adolescence communication through words can became a shield we learn to hide behind very well. At times, signals get crossed. There are times, a self absorption falls over us and makes us feel more important that we really are to the other person. As a teacher, it's good to recall feelings of social anxiety or confusion.

Posted by: Mary F. Wright at October 2, 2006 1:42 PM

I still get in these situations. I overanalyze everything; it's a family trait. Regardless, I'm learning how to better read the situation. Unfortunately, I've also come to the point where I've just concluded I don't understand what's going on until it is spelled out very clearly for me. Feelings and perception always get in the way because they alter the reality of the situation, which is why I don't trust what I think is happening until I'm told in words that that is what is happening.

Posted by: Amanda Powers at October 8, 2006 4:14 PM

I have been mislead by a guy like Dan before myself, and it was a harsh reality to find out that the feelings I thought he had for me were in fact non existent. I did so much analyzing and imagining in my head, that I came up with a situation that he mus like me too, which in fact wasn't really happening. To me it is just a learning process, yet I still tend to do what Debbie has done in this case of percieving Dan to be a person he wasn't due to her blindness of his true character because of his looks.

Posted by: Jayme Bennett at October 9, 2006 6:06 PM

Miscommunication can really have devastating results. We need to improve our communication skills to be able to avoid it and communicate effectively.

Communication skills include a lot of things. Listening skills, body language, conversation skills, and the likes. This may sound complicated, but we can improve our communication skills in a simple way.

In the story's case, I think being assertive enough to be able to convey your message correctly could be very helpful. Also, we need to talk about certain things to clear a situation is advisable so that we will not just assume things.

Posted by: Communication Skills at August 23, 2007 10:51 AM