Screaming!

I did create this blog in the name of writing about my life with RSD, so I think I'll just go for it this time and be truthful, though I will be a bit on the complain-y side (sorry!). I'm told that's okay to do every once in a while.

The high levels of anxiety I've had lately have finally kicked my RSD into high gear. Or rather, a much higher gear than before. The pain I am feeling in my legs really puts the extreme pain my feet into perspective. Going on two weeks now, my legs have been hypersensitive, raw, incredibly and overwhelmingly painful. The best way I can describe it is this: it is as though the entirety of my body is screaming from the pain, and the screaming is reverberating so that all that is filling up my body is pain and the vibration of screams from pain. ...That's not a great description, in fact. But close. The solution? We keep throwing Neurontin at it, hoping this will calm the pain down to a more manageable level. I am trying hard to be patient, but I am not holding my breath (because, see, holding your breath is a very bad thing to do if you are in pain. Deep breaths are key). So: being patient, breathing deeply, doing my best to function normally without spreading my pain funk far and wide.

I have to stick to wearing skirts, which is okay, except that I have to wear panty hose to see patients in clinic, and boy does that hurt. I can't rest things on my lap, so I feel especially rude piling up all of my things on the bus seat next to me (or trying to squeeze them between the wall and myself) while other riders walk by giving me pointed looks. I'm SORRY, but I've got a valid reason for taking up more than my fair share of room, I swear! The pain wakes me up several times a night.

Today my doctor and I talked briefly about the slim possibility of going on a narcotic temporarily. No! Not a good idea. But then again, I don't know how much more Neurontin I will be able to tolerate. Well, fingers crossed that this next increase in dosage will reduce the pain and not make me too loopy or tired. Gah. Well, at least I've got faith that this too shall pass.