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The feeling of love is one that has always fascinated me and puzzled scientists. The book states that according to Elaine Hatfield and Richard Rapson there are two types of love; passionate and companionate. Last semester I took a class called Intimate Relationships and we looked a lot at both of these types of love. Passionate love is the typical "hollywood romance", movie type of love. It is romantic and all-consuming. Companionate love is love as a friendship. It is common for couples to gradually move from passionate to companionate love, but I also believe you can move from companionate love to passionate love. I think it is common and even healthy to start out as great friends and then late develop romantic feelings.

There are several examples of passionate love in the media. One of my favorites is Big and Carrie from Sex and the City. In this clip, one of the final scenes of the series, Big finally tells Carrie she is "The One" and they have a passionate, romantic kiss in Paris after six seasons of a will-they won't-they relationship. While I love Sex and the City and The Notebook and all things romantic, I think that the media definitely makes our expectations of love too high and unrealistic. The chances of the loves of our life telling us were "The One" in Paris under the moon or in a downpour by the lake are highly small. In intimate relationships teacher noted that hollywood has made it so much harder for all the guys out there because women expect "sparks" and grand gestures. I think that while it is fun to watch these shows and fantasize about love, in real life we have to remember to be realistic. A song example of passionate love is Grenade by Bruno Mars.

A good example of companionate love in the media is Monica and Chandler from Friends. They were best friends for years until they finally felt that passion at Ross's wedding, their first kiss is shown in this clip. When going in the friends turned lovers route you do have to be careful though, because you can risk losing a great friendship if the romantic relationship does not work out. A good song example of companionate love is My Best Friend by Tim McGraw.

I think that to have a great relationship you need elements from both passionate and companionate love, but there is no perfect combination and one is not greater than the other. It seems that for now the love-at-first-sight feeling will remain a mystery. And I almost kind of hope that it does, we've got to maintain a little mystery in this scientifically driven world!

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This page contains a single entry by shepe022 published on October 23, 2011 10:18 PM.

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