Psychology of Coaching Class Blog

The Importance of Coach-Parent Realtionships

2010-04-29T19:38:55Z

The relationship between the coach and his player's parents is a relationship that is vital to holding the team together. In most cases, parents want what is best for their child and will do about anything to get it. Despite this, there are many parents out there that find the best way to do this is to be super involved in everything their child does in the game. These parents yell at referees, criticize coaches, and yell at their child when they are not performing. This ultimately can ruin the child's motivation and create an environment where they find it difficult to just have fun. It is important for coaches to establish a solid relationship with parents right off the bat so they may enjoy watching their child and players have fun and develop their basketball skills. It takes commitment from both sides and also an understanding that this is youth sport and it is in no one's interest to diminish a child's experience with sports.

The "M" cap idea in "Why Good Coaches Quit," was very interesting to me and I found that I really could see it working in the right situation and under the right control. It originated from a fellow coach on the USA team and the head coach of Texas, Augie Garrido. He used it by giving player plain orange hats and having them earn the T on the front of the cap. They Minnesota version of this started after an alcohol incident where the coaches only gave five hats with M's on them to players. They were chosen by the coaches because of their attitude, class attendance, and responsibility and only one senior received one of these five caps (Anderson and Aberman, 2006). John Anderson said, "The program is designed to teach responsibility and ownership, but it is not intended to put player in charge." You could see how this could cause problem with player's parents and the coach as it did in the first year. It needed to be clear that this was only in the benefit of the player and had nothing to do with their athletic performance. I also found the pyramid diagram in Anderson and Aberman (2006) to be a great visual aid of what the relationship between coaches, athletes, and the athletes family should be. It has coach on top with a dotted line; the athlete and family fill up the bottom of the pyramid. They say the dotted line is the coach as the consultant.

The NASPE website is a great reference for learning about how we can find ways to help improve knowledge of how to develop a child's experiences and relationships through sport. It helps parents become aware of what they can do to youth sports if they are "that parent." It is a great tool to better youth sports in many ways. I think it is very important for these types of websites to get more attention in areas of youth sport so parents can learn how to enhance their child's overall experience of sport.

-Trevor Maring

Works Cited:
• Anderson & Aberman (2006). Why Good Coaches Quit. Monterey, CA: Coaches Choice
• Through a Child's Eyes: Parents' Guide to Improving Youth Sports. http://www.sportsmanship.org/News/CTSA%20PGuide%20Final.pdf

**I could not get either of the videos to work
(The FA Parent Guide Video and The FA Background Anger Video)

Coach-Parent Partnership

2010-04-29T13:35:58Z

I feel that everyone who has ever participated in, coached, or have been a supporter of an athlete in sport has seen "that parent." They are the one who are constantly yelling at the referees, coaches, and the players for anything that they disagree with. From personal experience it frustrating when you have a parent on the team acting as a second coach on the sidelines. It embarrasses the child of that parent and causes a distraction from the game.

The AAHPERD parenting guide for sports addressed a lot of the negative issues that is seen of parents while at their child's sporting event. One thing that I found interesting is that the guide suggests that a parent play only one role whether it is a coach, playing, an official, or a fan. A lot of parents try to be all four at a time yelling out orders or calling out rule violations from the sidelines. Though a lot of parent's intentions are good at heart they do not realize the embarrassing situation they are creating for their athlete. The parent guide gives suggestions to parents to help them give their athlete a better sporting experience such as helping their athlete keep realistic goals, see the big picture by promoting values in sport, and have a child centered philosophy. The FA Parent Guide video showed different aspects who are involved in youth sport and how being "that parent" affects everyone that is involved.

The video clips on the FA Parent Guide website are just a reminder of how sport can be negative in a child's life. It is sad to see it happening in real life you slowly see a child who started playing for the love of the game turn into a child who is just there playing physically and not mentally there enjoying the sport. The video that resonated with me the most on the FA's website was the videos with the child's point of view and how he felt when his dad acted the way he did. It is unfortunate to see this in real life because like the child in the video most kids do not know or want to tell their parents that they are making them miserable. In the video the coach of the child did a good job of positively encouraging his athletes every time that the dad yelled. It is hard as a coach to know what the boundaries are of telling a parent how to act during a game

In Anderson and Aberman (2006) they describe how a caring coach can quickly go from being an involved coach to an athlete's parental advisor or even more. In story the coach Warren walks a very fine line of being a trusting coach for his athlete Jenny and a barrier separating Jenny from her family. The key to the success Warren had with this situation was having someone as a sounding board, Donny. It is important for coaches to have their own support system as well as the athlete. Going into situations like this one alone could be a disaster. I have seen it at my high school where the coach-athlete relationship line gets blurred. This can lead to accusations that may or may not be true because of the amount of time spent with the athlete, especially alone time. All coaches can benefit from the coaching pyramid in Anderson and Aberman (2006) to remind them of what their role should be in their athlete's life. The role of the coach can also vary in an athlete's life depending on the age of the athlete. Coach Anderson in Anderson and Aberman (2006) described "M" cap that what put into place on his team. He acted like a parent in the respect that he was challenging his athletes to grown and learn what they needed to do to become responsible in all aspects of their life.

Sara Goral

References
-Anderson & Aberman (2006). Why Good Coaches Quit. Monterey, CA: Coaches Choice
-The FA Parent Guide. www.thefa.com/respectparentguide/.
-Through a Child's Eyes: Parents' Guide to Improving Youth Sports. http://www.sportsmanship.
org/News/CTSA%20PGuide%20Final.pdf

The Coach and Parent relationship

2010-04-29T12:59:45Z

As an athlete and as a coach I have witnessed some of the strangest behavior I have ever seen in and around athletic events. Don't get me wrong there are many great parents out there involved with their children's athletic activities, but sometimes they are a few who are more than a burden to the athlete and the others involved. The behaviors I have seen first hand have been swearing at the referees, coaches, and even some times the athlete. Another time I have saw a fist fight between one parent and my Coach. I have seen physical and verbal abuse taken place in front of many spectators, and these moments were the most embarrassing for everyone involved. Similar to the FA parent guide scenes where the father is yelling at his son. This behavior does not demonstrate the 3 c's, and make sports un-enjoyable. This lack of communication from coach to athlete to parent is something all participants in sports need to recognize.
In my opinion I think parents should have to take a course on how to act and react when involved in sport. Anderson and Aberman describe the role of the coach, but not of the parent (2006). Parents also need to recognize the type environment they are creating by these outbursts. Vealey says these outbursts make the athlete, player and those involved with the team feel less than adequate, and lowers self-esteem(2005). Most athletes would prefer their parents to remain silent unless there is something positive to say about the game. It is important for the parents to understand that these actions can be detrimental to the athlete and those involved. Creating the "toxic environmnent" may steer the athlete away from sports completely. Especially at the youth level where the kids are participating to meet new friends and enjoy the outside.
In the end it is up to Coaches and parents to set solid examples of sportsmanship and teach the values that sports can provide.

-Nathan Morton

Vealey, R. (2005). Coaching for the Inner Edge. Morgantown, VW: Fitness Information
Technologies.

Anderson & Aberman (2006). Why Good Coaches Quit. Monterey, CA: Coaches Choice

The FA Parent Guide. www.thefa.com/respectparentguide/.

Through a Child's Eyes: Parents' Guide to Improving Youth Sports. http://www.sportsmanship.org/News/CTSA%20PGuide%20Final.pdf

Modification of Parent Behavior

2010-04-29T12:24:15Z

My inner monologue often includes the following statement: "Dear parents, please go away."
Please go away when:
• you are projecting your goals onto your children.
• you are trying to tell coaches how to coach when you have NO idea what you're doing.
• you are making excuses for your children's bad behavior.
• you are deliberately undermining the philosophy of the team.
• you think your child is more important than all the other children on the team.

There is nothing more frustrating than having to deal with parents in the above situations. There is a very delicate balance between coaches, parents and athletes. Anderson and Aberman discuss this relationship in terms of role definition of the coach (2006). They do not, however, define the role of the parent. As suggested by many of the commentaries found on www.thefa.com, the role of the parent ought to be one of support and enthusiasm. When parents are overly vocal in negative or pushy ways, the child of that parent, as well as the rest of the team and other parents become embarrassed. These outbursts also lead to intimidation of players, parents, coaches and referees (www.thefa.com). On a large scale, these outbursts do not create a good image for the team, but on a small scale, the impact can be much more devastating. Verbal attacks of a player's skill send the message that the child is not good enough for the parent, decreasing their self-worth and feelings of competence (Vealey, 2005). Kids reported that they would rather have nothing said than to have parents speaking negatively on the sidelines. The athletes also report that their main objectives in football were to stay fit and enjoy time with their friends (www.thefa.com).
As coaches, we need to help parents understand that children participate in sport at a young age because it is meant to be a fun learning experience to share with friends. The parents also need to understand that sport is about getting every child a chance to play and help them improve as much as possible for them. No matter what the skill level is at the end of the season, if there was improvement, then the child's experience is a success!
I think setting important guidelines in writing for the parents is an important first step in helping them understand their role as parents of athletes. Many school districts distribute a parent code of conduct with sports registration materials; Coaches of the individual teams need to also address these issues with their parents, as the coaches within a district may have different expectations. The resources available to help parents understand their role provide many helpful tips that cover everything from support in practice, to games, to how to be supportive and healthy at home (www.thefa.com). They also provide some excellent probing questions that may help some parents identify problem behaviors before they show up on the sidelines (www.sportsmanship.org). Unfortunately, there will always be parents that don't see that their behavior is potentially damaging to the 3C's felt by the athletes.

Sports is the Hand, Parents Should be the Glove

2010-04-29T07:37:04Z

There are a lot of factors that youth players have to deal with on and off the field. School work and house work seem to collide on a near daily basis and it seems that a lot of the time kids seek the stress relief environment of sports to unwind from time to time. They may get hounded at by a coach or a teammate or two, but they know that when they go home, they can come back to their everyday life and get back to work. But what happens if those stressors that may arise on the playing field come home with the athlete and add to the pressures of everyday life. Parents that are fans and parents that are coaches are in a crucial position with their child and they don't always remember to think about how their actions might be affecting their child.

In the Anderson and Aberman reading, it discusses how important it is for young athletes to have a solid relationship with their parents and that when athletes begin to dissolve the relationship with their parents and begin to rely on their coaches for love and support, lines can be crossed and the attention of focusing on becoming a better athlete can shift towards wanting a new role model in his or her life (Anderson & Aberman 2006). The example of this can be seen within the coaching pyramid that involves the coach, the athlete, and the athlete's parents. If a coach can successfully build a strictly coaching relationship with his or her athlete but at the same time make sure that the athlete has a good support system at home, then they will have an athlete that is eager to participate in sports and can reap the benefits of having both an athletic role model in their coach and an everyday role model in their parents.

When parents don't provide a positive support system for their child, it can lead to things such as burning out, losing interest in the sport, or picking up bad habits that might hinder their performance. In the two videos that I watched (FA Parent Guide, Background Anger Hockey Video) they gave perfect examples of how fans, including fans that have children playing in the game, can ruin sports by their behavior. The videos showed parents doing things such as blaming referees for making their child's team lose, questioning the coach's game plan (telling their child the opposite of what they have been taught), and complaining that their child isn't being treated fairly on the team and that they should be given preferential treatment. While they think that by saying these things they are actually helping their child's playing ability and self-esteem, they are actually creating a negative environment that can cause one of many problematic issues for the athlete.

Sports are a great way for kids to learn many valuable skills. They learn how to exercise, socialize with peers, and work together as a unit and sometimes individually. For parents, when it comes to their child's sports, they need to find a role that suits them and their child correctly. Some parents are able to be a great coach for their child and can balance being a father and a coach. Other parents are contributors from the stands and are willing to go to games and practices and cheer on their children. It's great that parents are willing to be a part of their youth's athletic experience, but they need to be able to ask themselves, "What does my child want me to be when it comes to sports"? Some kids don't want to see their mom or dad as their coach and would rather have them just sit in the stands and support them that way. It's not bad for them to want this, it is just the way that they want their parents to support him or her. Too often do parents become a coach or a screaming fan and never realize that it is affecting their child's performance on the field. They need to be able to sit down with their son or daughter and just ask the simple question about how their child wants them to support their athletic career.

I can draw a great example from my personal life that deals with parents being good role models in sports. My dad was a ranked college tennis player at Hamline University and still plays to this day. Even though he was a high caliber athlete with a diverse background in sports, he always asked me what I wanted to do when it came to sports. He never pushed me into anything and would always remind me that he would only coach and instruct me if I asked him directly. He still showed up to my games and whenever I needed help with something he would be there to help me out, and for that I cannot thank him enough. I credit my continual love of sports to him and am happy to say that I had such a positive role model as a young athlete.

Parents can be great role models for their children as long as they are committed to listening to what their children desire as far as support goes. They need to take a serious look at themselves and understand that what they are doing may not be benefiting their child as much as they think it is. Opening the lines of communication between parents and their young athletes, and also those athletes and their coaches, can do wonders for the well being of the athlete.

Anderson & Aberman (2006). Why Good Coaches Quit. Monterey, CA: Coaches Choice

The FA Parent Guide. www.thefa.com/respectparentguide/.

Background Anger Hockey Video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zb7mkuVavgQ&feature=related

Through a Child's Eyes: Parents' Guide to Improving Youth Sports. http://www.sportsmanship.org/News/CTSA%20PGuide%20Final.pdf

Commitment to Partnership

2010-04-29T06:24:17Z

Commitment to Partnership

The partnership between coach and parent is all about commitment. Parental involvement in sport is generally crucial to athletes at a young age. The balance between parents and coaches is most important at the youth level and also the most prevalent at any level. It is important that parents be committed to their children's athletic involvement. However, it is also important that parents are not overcommitted and that both coaches and parents understand boundaries in sport.
Anderson and Aberman (2006) present a coaching pyramid that demonstrates a simple view of the interaction between coach, parent, and athlete. First, they state the importance of parents making a commitment to their children's involvement, but not being controlling and providing space as needed. This applies especially to the coach, as well. The pyramid demonstrates an ideal balance between all parties. Family should always come first for athletes. There should be no boundary between parent and child. There needs to be some sort of boundary between coach and athlete. This is demonstrated in the pyramid by a dotted line. Anderson and Aberman refer to the coach as a consultant. The coach should leave parenting to parents and can not chose to be what Anderson and Aberman refer to as a social therapist to the athlete. Ideally, a coach should exceptionally lead athletes in the respective sport, but can offer guidance in other areas as needed. Meetings between coaches, players, and parents should establish an acceptable amount of interaction between all parties.
The problem of over-commitment is examined in the FA Parent Guide. Parents who are too involved can be problematic when they are living vicariously through their children on the competitive field. Behaviors such as coaching from the sideline can undermine the coach. Parents undoubtedly mean well when they seek active involvement in their children's sport, but must leave coaching to the coach.
As well as creating a montage for the over-committed parent, the FA Parent Guide also offers commentary for how youth feel about parent behaviors. It is essential that parents and coaches work together to listen to why young athletes participate in sport. The majority of young soccer players in the commentary mentioned "fun" and "enjoyment" as reasons why they play soccer. They are mostly intrinsically motivated as they play for love of the game rather than "winning at all costs". Young athletes want support from parents in all situations, good and bad. The over-committed parent who exhibits controlling behavior at the youth level can confuse young athletes. This confusion can reduce intrinsic motivation and lead to drop-out. Again, it is essential in youth sport that parents and coaches partner up to keep kids in sport for love of the game. Parents may not always be aware of how to translate parenting into sport. A good coach will lead by example. Referring back to the coaching pyramid of Anderson and Aberman, the coach sits on top. The coach is ultimately the leader in sport, but interaction with parents is important to make the best opportunities for the athlete.

Matt DeVinney

Coaching Parents

2010-04-29T04:13:45Z

The NAPSE brochure is one of the many fantastic resources I have been completely unaware of until this class. Educating yourself whenever possible I believe is a good rule to go by, and this brochure allows parents to do just that. The development a child can receive from relationships and experiences through sport is endless when provided with the correct tools. I often feel it is much easier for youth sports to be ruined by adults than for the children not to benefit. This brochure helps make parents aware of this and prevent it from happening. I will definitely use these resources as suggestions to parents if relevant issues were to arise.

I found Warrens' story very interesting. As a coach I can understand how quickly and easily Warren and Jenny's case turned in the wrong direction. Especially with how often they were around each other, basically all of their free time. Being around someone that often it can be difficult not to build a relationship more than the professional athlete coach. This is a line I have definitely unintentionally flirted with while coaching. A player continually looking for personal advice or frequent texts can become uncomfortable very quickly. I was impressed with how Warren handled it. He knew it was over his head at this point and sought for advice. The end of this chapter really got me thinking about having a coach I looked up to. I really have been fairly on my own up to this point, mainly by choice. I think creating a more personal, mentor, type situation would be very helpful. Often I feel unsure of what to do and some guidance would be of great help. Coaching with and learning first hand may be a possibility I should explore as well!

I thought the FA videos were very well done. Unfortunately the yelling father is a common theme in youth sports it seems. I have had back to back worst and best experiences with parents this past winter and spring. In one group I knew very few of the parents and would only meet them when they had an issue. I had one mother fight my no F's policy that she signed and agreed to until the day her son was kicked out of the school for his grades. This baffled me and unfortunately was not the only situation with the parents that I felt was inappropriate. This spring all the parents have been very supportive and intent on introducing themselves to me. They are honest with me. They respectably give me ideas, I agree with almost all of them, and give me praise when they are pleased. I am thoroughly enjoying working with this team because the parents let me coach and are extremely supportive and helpful off the court.

Brian Jungwirth

Coach-Parent Partnership

2010-04-29T02:21:19Z

Coach-Parent Partnership

I believe that the self-assessment tool that is provided by NASPE is enlightening in regard to what parents should do. Focusing on the child's development and not the scoreboard or the scholarship that can be offered is important in regaining control of youth sports. Focusing on the 'big picture' for your child helps them develop not only as children, but also young adults. Honoring and respecting the game was also highlighted in the article and are key aspects in the development of youth sports. The NASPE article briefly discusses the report card that was done by the Citizenship Through Sports Alliance, which would be an interesting tool to use in the self-assessment. The article states that the results of the report card were appalling, but doesn't reveal what they are. I went to the site that was given and found out the two Ds that were issued were Parental Behavior/Involvement and Child-Centered Philosophy. This is shocking and disturbing that parents are focused on their children, but themselves.

I thought that the "M" cap story in Anderson and Aberman was very intriguing. The fact that the athletes took control of it after a couple years and would turn their "M" cap over if they felt they didn't deserve that honor. You have to trust what you are doing for it to work even if it doesn't work the first couple of years. Sometimes you may have to alter your system to make it fit to the athletes on your team, but you need to trust your system and your philosophy to be effective. Another key point that Anderson and Aberman make is that as a coach you need to be a consultant, but not a parent. The coach needs to make sure there isn't a solid line between the athlete and the parent because that relationship between the athlete and parent is important with youth athlete development. Anderson and Aberman made very good points in regard to your coaching system and the development of it.

The FA Parent Guide scenes were rather disturbing. The father yelling at his son and his teammates confused all of them and took their mind off of what they do best, which is have fun. When someone is yelling and trying to 'coach from the bleachers' the team doesn't know what is right and wrong and takes away the role of coach away. The coach is there for a reason and regardless of the outcome supporting your youth athlete is the most important thing. Officials are also there for a reason and just because you yell at them doesn't mean the call is going to be changed. I use to be one of those that got upset when an official 'made a bad call,' but then I officiated a game and that gave me a totally different perspective. Ever since that game I cannot stand it when people yell at the officials, even my own parents and I will beg them to keep quiet because it is embarrassing. As a parent being there for support is what will help them develop as individuals not yelling at them and everyone else involved in the game. Working together as a coach and parent will give your athlete the optimal experience, performance, and development that is desired.

Molly Augustine

Work Citied:
Anderson & Aberman (2006), pp.142‐156, 64‐73.
The FA Parent Guide (video scenes) http://www.thefa.com/respectparentguide/
Through a Child's Eyes:Parents' Guide to Improving Youth Sports
http://www.aahperd.org/naspe/pdf_files/TACE_brochure.pdf

Avoiding Strategic Ambiguity

2010-04-29T00:07:48Z

Parents generally mean well for their kids and they want them to succeed. However, to much parental involvement can actually hurt the athletes performance. That is why it is important that clearly see their defined role and excel at that instead of acting like a coach. Regardless, the parent should be supportive of the child no matter how poorly the athlete is doing. This blog will argue that parents and coaches should only emphasize their role or they will be seen as an obstacle. The parent and coach can facilitate an environment that promotes fun for the athlete by making it primarily athlete centered.

To begin, the FA Parent Guide gives the example of a soccer dad who acts like a coach but should be acting like a parent. Initially, the dad gave expectations on how to perform at the beginning of the game, while during the game the dad gave directions on how to perform often interfering with the coach's leadership, and the referee's credibility. At the end, the dad blamed the coach, the referee for the son's performance. Several things went wrong here, because the dad acted like a coach, he inadvertently did not allow his child to express himself or have fun in the game. The athlete's performance declined as well because the motivation for performing the sport was primarily extrinsic (his dad) (LaVoi). In order to change the athlete's attitude, the parent has to step back and be supportive of what the athlete does accomplish and what he does not. It is up to the coach to provide direction, not the parent. In addition, it did not help having the dad blaming others for the athlete's performance. However, the parent can provide criticism such as a 'Praise sandwich'. This is done by being specific on the athlete did well, following what the athlete could of improved on and ending with another compliment(Youth Sport Guide). By doing this, the soccer son would have looked upon the dad more favorably because it shows that the dad supports him by veiling criticism. This is important because it allows the coach to be a coach, while the parent can be act like a coach without necessarily being one. Being indirect promotes set roles. If it was not, there would be a blurring of roles and athletes will adapt it as a norm.

A similar example stems from Anderson and Aberman, instead of the parent acting liking a coach, the coach is acting like a parent (64). This is seen where a tennis athlete was sick of her dad giving directions. Because the dad never listened to her, the athlete resorted to the coach and started asking him pretty personal things. Because the situation became inappropriate, the coach decided to involve the parents watching the athlete practice. The coach was able to redraw the lines between what a coach does and what a parent does. Luckily, the athlete was able to see that. Because the coach knew his role and could see how it was becoming a parent role, the coach was able to differentiate and reestablish positive norms for both parents and coaches.

Blurring the roles between the coach and the parent is detrimental to the athletes because they will not see the positive example of either roles. If one acts like the other, the athlete assumes, the athlete can do the same once he/she gets older. This strategic ambiguity does not the help the athlete but only reinforces ill behavior. The coach and the parent have to realize, especially at youth levels, that athletes use sport to have fun, find a passion and explore. It is up to the parents to support these concepts and it is up to the coach to give direction and provide guidance within these contexts.

-Sam Suber ♫

Player, Coach, Parent

2010-04-28T23:16:29Z

The pyramid used in Anderson and Aberman is a useful illustration of the relationship that should exist between coach and player, coach and parent, and parent and child. The main problem with the situation involving Jenny is that she began to see her coach as a friend. A coach may play other roles for an athlete other than strictly being a coach, but playing the role of a friend should not be one of those roles. In college, often times a coach will play the role of a parent for a player. This is not uncommon because many athletes are a long way from home and a coach can give guidance, support and discipline much the same way a parent would do. I like what Warren said to Jenny in one of their later conversations: "Everyone needs someone to talk to sometime, but my main job is to help you become the very best tennis player possible." Warren did a nice job of letting Jenny know he was there to listen to her frustrations, but that he was a coach first and foremost. What I like about the pyramid is that the line between coach and player is not a solid line. This is important because athletes must feel their coach cares about them as a person and not only as an athlete. This is summed up well by the popular phrase, "They don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care."

The FA Parent Guide videos are a great example of problems that exist in youth sports. Obnoxious parents are a common occurrence in youth sports. I agree with Elizabeth's comment in her blog that although she was appalled by the father's behavior, she is sympathetic knowing that the father just wants what is best for his son. There is nothing wrong with wanting to give your child the best experience possible, but most parents have probably never educated themselves on the best way to do this. Without completely letting obnoxious adults off the hook, some parents are unaware that their yelling and screaming (which they perceive as helpful coaching) is detrimental to their child's sporting experience. As mentioned in the video, when a parent begins to yell and coach from the sidelines it undermines not only the coach, but the confidence of the child as well as the child's ability to think for him/herself. A yelling parent puts unreasonable expectations and pressure on their child. The whole situation in the video became so bad that Joe's dad decided he wanted to put Joe on another team. I find it interesting that Joe's dad never took the time to ask him what he thought of the game and his experience on the team. When asked why they play soccer, all the kids talked about the enjoyment of the game and the chance to be part of a team. In youth sports, winning and losing does not matter as much to the kids as it does to some parents. A child likes to see their parent encouraging from the sidelines and being supportive of all the players on the field.

Dan DeWitt

**I was unable to open the youtube video or the AAPHERD brochure

Partnering with Parents

2010-04-28T23:05:55Z

I found the M cap strategy to be very intriguing. At first I couldn't decide how I felt about it. In my head I would talk myself into thinking it was an effective strategy, and then within a minute I would think of a bunch of reasons on why it's not a good strategy. I think it's good because it makes the players so curious as to what they need to do to get an M that they put forth more effort in a variety of different aspects of their daily lives in hopes of getting the M. I feel it's a poor strategy because we have talked all semester long about the importance of communication as well as the consequences of lack of communication, and the M cap strategy is clearly lacking some communication. I think I could see myself as a player getting very frustrated if I couldn't figure out what I needed to do to obtain a 'M' and I would think that a lot of players might even start to lose focus on the actual practices and games due to thinking about the M cap thing so much. I think because it was the U of M baseball team it was able to slide, but I think if a high school coach tried to use the same strategy they would run into a lot of trouble I would bet. In college, I know that some parents are still extremely involved, but I would argue that they are not as involved as high school parents are, or I should say that in college parents don't have as easy of access to the coach as they do in high school. In high school sports, parents can drop by before or after practice. I think a high school coach would catch a lot of flak from parents if they tried using the strategy. Either way, when it's all said and done, the M cap strategy proved to be effective for the U of M baseball team, and that's great. I just think it's something that I personally as a coach would be hesitant to try.

As far as the adjustments that were made within the program, I thought John, the coach was really wise about creating methods to build team chemistry and to improve the success of the program. I thought it was a much smarter way to go about it when at the beginning of the 1998-99 season every player received a golden M and it was the team's discretion to decide who was deserving enough to wear it. This gives the team more voice and also more responsibility. It also holds the players accountable among themselves. At the bottom of page 153 they talk about how the players would have a meeting without the coaches and each player would defend their case to their teammates about why they deserve to keep their M. Again, I think this is a great way to hold the players accountable within the team and it also provides the players a chance to self reflect on what they are bringing to the team and what kind of effort they are putting forth. I think often times athletes think that they are bringing a lot to the table in the aspect of contributing to the team, but once they actually look back and reflect on it they realize maybe they aren't doing as much as they thought or as much as they could be.

The reading also reminded me of the importance of being careful to not fall into the "top-down" coaching style. I think it's very important that the players feel like they have some sort of say in the program and that they support each other, hold each other accountable, and take care of each other. In a top-down coaching style, I don't think players effectively feel like they are completely receiving the care and competence that they need to feel.

The second part of the reading in 'Why Good Coaches Quit' (pgs. 64-73) was a really good lesson to read because it reminds us of the importance of keeping healthy boundaries between us and our athletes. The example where all Warren said to Jenny was that he was there if she needed to talk shows just how easily a coach can get themselves into an uncomfortable situation. I also think to go along with that is that when you're dealing with youth they may not see or understand inappropriate circumstances as clearly as an adult would. In the case described in the reading, maybe Jenny didn't realize that it wasn't appropriate to be calling her coach all the time. I just feel that sometimes younger athletes don't understand that a coach has those established boundaries, and that often time's youth are too comfortable trying to make the coach-athlete relationship into a friendship. I have experienced some similar situations over the past couple of summers. Because I am only 20 and the basketball players that I coach over the summer are anywhere from 14-17, there is not much of an age difference between myself and them. Even though the players are always very hardworking and respectful, on several occasions I have coached athletes who would text me or call me on a regular basis and I could tell they were trying to form more of a friendship than that coach-athlete relationship that I needed to maintain. As a coach it just reminds us to set those clear limits about boundaries with our athletes before it gets out of hand.

The FA parent guide video was frustrating to watch. Sadly, I see so many parents like that at youth tournaments throughout the summer. It is hard to imagine that a parent would think that acting like that is actually beneficial to the kid and going to help them get better. Young athletes who have parents like that are generally the ones who end up dropping out of sports by the time they are in high school. Just as coaches can make or break a kid, parents can too. I've had experience with a dad similar to the one in the video (although not nearly that intense). I was picking up on the fact that he was being extremely hard on one of my players, who happened to be his son, and I didn't like it. The player of mine who was experiencing this was very talented and had a world full of potential. As a coach, it puts you in an uncomfortable position, but you know that you have to step in and confront the situation because it's in the best interest of the kid. Luckily, my boss had a secure relationship with this father, so I just went to my boss and explained what I had been noticing and my boss had no problem pulling the dad aside with me and talking with him about it. But had that not been the case, it would've been a much more difficult situation to deal with. I was lucky that my boss was as comfortable as he was about handling the situation.

A big problem that we see today, and we've mentioned it several times in class, is that there are parents' out there who just flat out lack the knowledge of knowing what their role as a parent should be. According to the brochure titled, "Parent's Guide to Improving Youth Sports," parents need to remember to always be supportive, not only to the team that their child plays on but also to the other team. They also need to remember to not try and coach from the sidelines and to avoid blaming or commenting on the performance of the officials. The brochure also recommends carrying a child-centered philosophy. This means finding a program that puts the children's best interest first; fun friends, fitness, and skill development.

Another problem is that many parents' believe that if you're not intense and don't criticize that it means that you are not competitive enough or "don't care" enough. They see the best way to get their child performing at a high level is by always pointing out what they can improve on and what they can do better. They have such little realization that is actually demoralizing to the child and that it has a much more negative impact than it does a positive one. What we can do as coaches is try to spread awareness to the parents' of our athletes and share the resources that we have been looking at in class with them and then the rest is up to them. There is going to be some parents out there that no matter what you say or suggest, they just won't listen. However, doing your best to spread the word and share information with them would be well worth your time as a coach and could make a child's life in youth sport much more enjoyable and a great experience.

Cory Graef

References

Anderson & Aberman (2006). Why Good Coaches Quit. Monterey, CA: Coaches Choice

The FA Parent Guide. www.thefa.com/respectparentguide/.

Through a Child's Eyes: Parents' Guide to Improving Youth Sports. http://www.sportsmanship.
org/News/CTSA%20PGuide%20Final.pdf

Partnering with parents

2010-04-28T18:55:22Z

Partnering with parents
Parents have a strong influence on the mindset of a child and on a child's values and beliefs. For this reason, I am incredibly excited yet scared to be a parent myself. Considering parenthood is probably not in my near future, I consider it an opportunity to contemplate how to help raise my child and encourage a healthy mindset about effort and attitude. Additionally, I think it is very important for me as a coach to attempt to relate to parent's perspectives and to learn effective strategies for informing parents of appropriate etiquette and support for their child in their sport. According to Minnesota PLAYS, it may be enough for parents to know how their behavior could affect their child's future and to know what their child wants or needs from them to eliminate a lot of violent and inappropriate parent behavior in athletics, and to support a child in a developmentally appropriate manner (Omli, 2008, p.30).

After watching the FA video guide for soccer, I was appalled by the father's behavior, yet sympathetic to the fact that I know the father just wants what is best for his son. The father has high expectations, which could be viewed as setting his child up for the self fulfilled prophecy principle. He fails to acknowledge, however, that his son is only eight years old and needs an environment where he can be encouraged to develop his skills and have a positive athletic experience. The child, Billy, shared his perspective of his father's reaction, and at one point says, "I think my dad thinks I should be better than I am. I think my dad likes fútbol more than I do." I wonder, however, if the child does love fútbol more than his father, for he is not concerned with winning and losing, but merely enjoys his sport and playing it because of his intrinsic love for it. If his dad didn't care so much, the child would probably enjoy his experience more and probably develop more skills because he will not have so much pressure to perform. It seems like Billy's father is quickly eliminating his intrinsic motivation and replacing it with a drive to perform well to please his father.

Parents not only influence a child's definition of success and failure and what motivates them, but also influence a child's behavior. Parent's behavior influences a child's behavior. For example, in the video after the father yelled at the ref, Billy stated in his interview that the ref was unfair. Had the father not yelled at the ref, I wonder if Billy would have such a perception. The attitude and behavior of a parent influence a child's behavior.

While it is so difficult to compose yourself as a parent on the sidelines, I doubt that parents realize the impact they have on their child. As a coach, I plan to share resources such as the brochure called, "Parent's Guide to improving youth sports." This brochure reminds me of the program Minnesota PLAYS, which promotes parent education for youth sports. Parents certainly do not intend to hurt their child's experience, but has been uninformed as to what their role should be and how it contributes to development. The brochure specifies a parent's role and provides specific statements and behaviors that can promote lifelong athletic enjoyment and commitment. The brochure provides a reality check for parents to consider their motivation in encouraging their child to play sports. They provide statistics of the number of athletes that actually have an athletic scholarship and remind parents that it is unrealistic and irrational to encourage and motivate your child to play so that they can play in college. Not only is it unrealistic, but such pressure decreases a child's intrinsic motivation to play sport and replaces it with less self determined motivation, and puts a child at risk for burnout and quitting.
Although the brochure emphasizes helping parents to promote a healthy attitude about athletics and stating that it is better to have a well rounded person and to focus should be on development, I imagine that parents believe that their child is different. Also, I imagine that they believe that a "well rounded and positive experience" attitude is for those that don't desire to perform well or compete at a high level. I think the brochure should cite specific sources which point to evidence of optimal performance when experience, performance and development are all balanced (Vealey, 2005). The brochure does state that studies show that there is a higher rate of burnout for those that play in a single sport all year long. Perhaps, more evidence on the positive effect of a balanced perspective will motivate parents to believe that it really is best for their child and is even beneficial for their child's performance and long term health.

The coach does have a responsibility to respectfully communicate with parents and to partner with parents. As we saw in the video, parents have a major influence on their child, and it is to the advantage of the coach to share his or her philosophy and "get parents on board" with the focus on a balance of development, experience and performance. I do not have the experience of being a parent, nor the experience of coaching, and therefore plan to find a mentor who can share ideas for how to partner with parents and yet communicate that parents and coaches have distinct roles. (Anderson, p.71, 2006). I look forward to creatively developing partnership with parents and hopefully being a transformative leader by challenging parents to "alter their frames of reference or way of thinking so as to produce profound shifts in their perceptions and ways of being, living and responding," by encouraging them to consider what really motivates their child, how to praise their child, and how to play the role of a supportive parent (Vealey, p.76, 2005).

Elizabeth Yetzer

Works Cited
Anderson & Aberman (2006). Why Good Coaches Quit. Monterey, CA: Coaches Choice

The FA Parent Guide. www.thefa.com/respectparentguide/.

Omli, J., LaVoi, N.M., Wiese-Bjornstal, D. (2008). Towards an understanding of parent spectator
behavior at youth sport events. Journal of Youth Sports,3(2), 30-33.

The FA Parent Guide. www.thefa.com/respectparentguide/.

Through a Child's Eyes: Parents' Guide to Improving Youth Sports. http://www.sportsmanship.
org/News/CTSA%20PGuide%20Final.pdf

Vealey, R. (2005). Coaching for the Inner Edge. Morgantown, VW: Fitness Information
Technologies.

Coach-Parent Relationship

2010-04-28T17:42:40Z

The story in Aberman & Anderson (2006) has great significance to the meaning of relationship between Coach and Parent. The Coaching Pyramid seems like a great tool for the younger age athletes, and should really be referred to in coaching. There are fine lines between Athlete, Coach, and Parents. But they should all be established even if they are fine lines. Warren did have a great mentor to help him through a sticky situation and not everyone has the same great resources for help. Getting parents involved is a vital part to a child's development as an athlete, but there also needs to be a line drawn. Parent support is a vital piece to the success of a child's ability but it can't be too much to interfere with it. Sometimes parents try to get too involved (some in unintentional) and it even mentioned that Warren had to caution Jenny's father to not be overly supportive to where it is interfering with her concentration. The coach needs to do his job and the parents need to be parents, but there should be a communicative relationship between parent and coach for that very reason. Comfortable enough to get the parents more involved or step away a bit.

In the FA respect guide, watching the videos was very interesting. It seems like it would be a great tool for parents, coaches and players. In the end, you get commentary from all perspectives (coach, son, dad, and facilitator). It would really be informational for all of the above to get different perspectives and think about it a little bit. The father very clearly was being way too hard on the child and was making it not fun for him. The father was overly coaching his son and other players on the team. He felt that it was everyone else's fault on the team except his son, and when it was his sons fault, he was hard on him. His constructive criticism was way overboard even though it had a lot of positives in it. The father was making decisions and acting on his own behalf and didn't really know what his son wanted. He told his son that they were going to switch teams so that he could use his true skills and potential but really the child just wanted to have fun and all of his buddies were on the team. The dad didn't really know or care.

It's a similar situation as we have talked about in class in the past, in a coach and player relationship. The coach may think he knows what is going on with the team and attitude of the players, but until they physically ask the players, the coaches will never really know. So it's important that parents ask how their child is feeling or thinking. It really is amazing how many parents think they know everything about their child and what is best for them in athletics, but by not asking or having discussions about it. They will never really know and more times than not, it makes the child unhappy.

For some reason, I tried for the life of me to open the youtube site and the AAPHERD pdf files, and I couldn't open either of them. I have seen a brochure that I'm sure is very similar to the AAPHERD "Through a Child's Eyes". It basically is a great informational tool for parents on what children may be thinking and for what they should be talking about with their children to understand their thoughts more instead of just assuming. That is very important in the parents support for their children, knowing what is important and what the thoughts were of their children.

Chad Georgell

References
Aberman, R.A., Anderson, J.R. (2006). "Why Good Coaches Quit"; How to deal with the other stuff. Coaches Choice.
The FA Background Anger video for soccer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1lvMdT2GHk
The FA Parent Guide (video scenes). Viewed April 27, 2010. http://www.thefa.com/respectparentguide/

Mental skills

2010-04-23T18:15:36Z

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/05/sports/playmagazine/05robicpm.html?_r=3&pagewanted=all

SEEKING A BETTER SOLUTION TO GENDER DIFFERENCES, A Coaching Perspective

2010-04-22T20:34:40Z

Michael Storts

I will not suggest that all men act one way and all women act another way. I've played alongside and against women who are exceedingly competitive, adept and talented at sport; I've played with men who couldn't care less about winning, and would rather be a spectator. And while it's my belief that you can't define men or women just by their common stereotypes, I do believe that most men and women espouse genetically-caused, undeniable gender differences. One sex is not better, or worse--just different--and I feel that Kathleen DeBoer, author of Gender and Competition, feels the same.

DeBoer uses her experiences as an NCAA and professional athlete, and long-time NCAA coach as the basis for her anecdotal observations. She believes, as do I, that differences between males and females typically exceed speed and strength; that sports are an avenue for our social urges, and that the social urge of a typical male is different from that of an average female. I won't lump all males into one category and all females into another, but what most guys "get out of sport" appears to be very different from that of most girls. DeBoer believes that sport, for most guys, is an opportunity to assert their physical prowess and establish a social hierarchy. After all, we're but only a few generations removed from a time when males relied on their physical cunning to catch food, settle territorial disputes and lure "baby mama." Of course, it wasn't too long ago that women relied on a social network to raise children, find food and stay sheltered. Our genetics make us who we are.

In her decades of experiencing collegiate athletics, DeBoer has grown to find that many girls--especially in high school--are less receptive to competitiveness, victory, domination and criticism, as are their male counterparts. Even some of her most disappointing teams, from a win-loss standpoint, considered their experience to be highly successful because of the social greatness that they had encountered. She finds that girls, who may be "distracted by a male delivery, which they find belittling or abusive" (DeBoer, p.48) are easily hurt by a coach's tone and criticism. "Women have to have a sense that you care for them beyond their athletic needs" (Dorrance, p.71).

Without generalizing, I think the assertion that males and females require different things from their coaches is, to a degree, true. At the same time, the response that coaches may expect from their players probably varies, by gender. Perhaps testosterone is more receptive to intimidating coaching; perhaps estrogen prefers calm leadership and a "rally the troops," collective-effort approach.

However it may be, there's a problem in today's coaching textbooks: many of them, intentionally or not, use verbiage that demean female characteristics and propagate stereotyping. Repeatedly problematizing female athletes with terms like "issues, dealing with, and serious" (LaVoi, Becker & Maxwell 2007)--as if boys don't have problems--only perpetuates the non-normative stereotypes that surround female athletes. To increase both the quantity and quality of coaches for female sports, we need to stop disparaging the differences between male and female athletes and come to accept to accept them. Companies like Nike, and organizations like the WNBA, IOC and women's soccer need to donate resources to gender studies and women's sport, so that coach-training may become more effective and specialized.

However, I don't feel that the basis of coach-training should take an ambivalent path, where we deny the biological gender differences that dominate our biology, and instead consider boys and girls to be the same. Some of the methods that work best for girls may not motivate boys, and vice versa. If the goal of a coaching text is to teach effective coaching, it's illogical to avoid gender differences.

It seems better, to me, to alert a young coach that his or her usual style may not be ideal for the opposite sex, instead of having coaches "learn the hard way" and alienate their players. The point isn't to stop teaching the differences between coaching male and female athletes, but to employ a tactful discourse that avoids belittling one sex or the other. Statements that "imply girls are inferior, incapable, and weak" trivialize female athletics and jeopardize the quality of coaching that they may receive.

I understand that some prospective coaches will be turned-off to the challenge of coaching the opposite sex, but that may be better than employing inept coaches who are entirely ignorant to gender differences. And, while LaVoi correctly believes that "much work is needed before the gender regime in youth sport can be toppled and gender equity in youth sport can be achieved" (2009), the mostly male gender regime will hardly be receptive to a theory that men and women are emotionally alike.

DeBoer, Kathleen. Gender and competition...how men and women approach work and play differently. 2004.

Lavoi. Occupational sex segregation in a youth soccer organization: females in positions of power. Women in Sport & Physical Activity Journal. 18(2), 25-37. 2009.

LaVoi, Becker and Maxwell. 'Coaching girls': a content analysis of best-selling popular press coaching books. 2007.