Gee-golly it's swell to work inthe bizarro writing center!
Do you have a paper that needs to be proofread? Bring it here! All we do here is edit papers. Short on time? No worry! Just drop the paper off at the front desk, and we'll get on it right away. You can expect to pick your paper back up, error free, in about twenty minutes.
Not a student? We don't care! These services are for everyone, whether they pay or not; student service fees pay for services for peopple other than students: it's just a name.
No, we will not help you learn anything for yourself. It just takes too much time. And, frankly, I don't have the time. I, and I assume you as well, would prefer to just have a well-written paper. That's all that counts.
Got some questions about MLA style that you're just too lazy to look up on your own time? That's why we're here! Just call our toll-free hotline, and one of our many freindly operators will answer your questions for you.
Spell check function of Word too difficult to find for you? Not for me! I have six years of training and four years' experience using spell check. It's not as easy as it looks.