Scheman's Women's Studies Blog

this is an excellent question. it seems unfair that, if a guys has several sexual partners, they are looked up to by their friends, while females can't do the same thing because they would be whores. some women are even more attracted to guys who get around - the principle that we always want what we can't have. anyone remember american pie number 1 or 2? that whole bit about men taking the number of women they have slept with and adding three when asked how many women they have slept with, and women subtracting three....maybe i didn't explain it right....at the same time, women are perfectly capable of having casual sex, although it may not make them happy. i think that there is also a lot of pressure on people in your age group to not be "tied down" to anyone too soon, that we should date around and then get married. so to answer the first question, yes. to the second question, it may go back to what scheman was saying about the question of "what are woman FOR" and "what do men DO". it's less socially acceptable for a woman to have a healthy sexuality with multipule partners. i think i'm rambling.

I hate the conception of men he have lots of sex as "players" Like they've acheived something. I don't see a problem with the actual act of having sex with multiple partners, I just hate how society will put them high on the totem pole for this accomplishment. I think one reason why people look down on and name call others who have multiple partners is because they're jelous. Everyone wants this kind of attention and those who don't get it get angry. Just my thoughts.

I think people are quick to judge others based on their sexual "number" because it has mounted to such "false" importance to many college students and other young adults. It seems that it is easy to categorize people into "whore" "tight" "pimp" "dry" etc. Why this topic has become so important in recent years is undefinable, because I think that everyone has different ideas about what "numbers" are acceptable or not. A lot of people tend to decide who they will date based on possible mates' numbers before knowing the person well. The double standard based on gender is the idea that guys like to date girls with "low" numbers, as if dating them would be an achievement or someone to add to their list. I am rambling, many thoughts on this, and this is my group project, so I will be back quite a bit!! Tell me what you think!

I think since men are seen as sexual beings (need to have sex or are at least thinking about it all of the time) and women are not, that it's seen as okay for men to be having sex a lot of the time with different people because they have a constant sexual drive. What society is neglecting to see is that women have just as many needs as men, they are just better hidden because it is not the majority of what they talk about. (By the way, the rule of 3 is guys multiply by three and girls divide by 3 the # of people they've slept with)

I have another question for people to respond to...what is your idea of what numbers are acceptable and what numbers are too much? Do you judge the person you're dating by the number of people they've slept with?
(also a group member)

I think through writing so I'm just going to do a stream of conciousness and see where it takes me. I am not sure why sex is seen as an acomplishment when it comes to men but not for women who are frowned on.

I see that this standard exists but I also see a lot from my own personal expirience through groups of friends that women and men can be viewed in much the same way. I know people who would be turned off by a female who likes to sleep around just as much as they would be by a male. As a younger generation I think it depends more on what you are looking for. It might be more intimidating for someone looking for a exclusive relationship and relatively inexpirienced to be with someone who has had many partners. Or someone might be hesitant to hook up with someone with little to no expirience who feels awkward.

As far as my feelings go, personally, I feel that as long as you have a good connection with someone (that is if you are looking for a relationship) it really doesn't matter about their sexual past. I would just like that person to feel open with me and be able to talk about anything so there are no secrets to cause problems in the relationship later.

So that's my speil.

I agree with Hayley that sometimes men and women are viewed the same way. With my friends I know that it's not cool for anyone to sleep around and they often get teased for it if they do. i don't think girls look up to guys at all who sleep around, so it must be other guys who praise them, but why?

I'm going to try to move this blog on to it's own separate blog, the URL for the new discussion on this topic is: http://blog.lib.umn.edu/dahl0684/doublestandards
Thanks!

I don't think it really matters how many people your partner has slept with. I mean are you going to completely walk away from someone that you like, just because their freshman and sophmore year they decided to "try" a few things? I know that sounds rather crude, but think about it. Your freshman year, your trying to recreate your self image, and try and figure out the kind of person you want to become. By the end of sophmore year, you're probably ready to calm down and look for something serious.
So if they sleep with one or thirty people. It shouldn't really matter. I mean what happens if you find the right person who just happens to be "the one" that so many people put such an emphasis on.
So personally I don't really care who they sleep around with, or how many times. As long as in the end, they end up with me, and only me. Also they better not have any unknown children running about.
Also to the other questions about players, and whores/sluts. If they feel like they are accomplishing something by sleeping with as many people as they can, that's their business.
Men praise one another for how many people they sleep with because, it is a form of "achievement." So men want to just have a good time, and have no drama. This can be accomplished through the many one night stands they have probably had during, the infamous frat parties. Gross, but it is still something that happens. You got to remember also a comment made above, men multiply by 3. So they may just be adding more women to their list, because they want to seem more manly.

Okay that was my random rant.

I personally believe that this double standard is wrong. And I beleive the source is our soceity and social relationships. For example, If you look at teenage pop culture you see it dripping with this. Movies like American Pie, I think, are a source where young teens grasp the concept of "this is how social roles work." It isn't just Teen media that perpetuates this. If you look at TV, Movies with a critical eye, you can see it everywhere. So in short I do beleive that it is a double standard the is completely unfair, but makes up so much of people's social lives.

I think a good goal of ours as Women's Studies students would be to instead of dwelling on and despising the double standard, work to reverse it. Society, media, culture, college life, alcohol, marijuana and the strive to be cool has all shaped us to think that sex is neccessary, natural, and better with numbers. Easily enough, we could calm this down by not being so public about our sex lives. Or, trying harder to judge less on numbers and more on...more important things. There's a little beef for the sandwich.

The concept of having numerous sexual partners have always been taboo for women and not for men. It is the norm for men to have multiple sexual partners and be accepted in society but for women it is the opposite. When I asked for the perspective of a women on the subject she stated " It does matter if females have a lot of sexual partners. It is not cute for a women to be sleeping around." When I asked her why she felted that way she could only respond "... that's the way it is; it has always been like that not just in our society but in others to." When I asked a man if it mattered to him if a women had a high number of sexual partners he responded " It depends. It doesn't matter if a girl has had sex with a lot of dudes if thats all I want to do with her. But I want a long term relationship with her and want to marry her, then it matters. You can't turn a hoe into a house wife." Then I asked him if a girl has a lot of sexual partners is she considered a "hoe" he responded by saying "of course." Be that as it may the issue of having numerous sexual partners being acceptable for men and not for women for the most part are perpetuated by both genders. In order for this double standard to cease, society must not make the issue of having a high number of partners acceptable or not for wither men or women, but simply leave the discretion up to the individual and teach safe sex.

It is very interesting how the way people feel about "numbers" most often revolves around societal norms, and not personal opinion. It is almost as if we don't really know anymore how we feel about things, because as outside sources have engrained in us the "pimp"/"hoe" factor we have taken it with the salt. Personally, I try not to think about numbers when getting to know someone. In relationships, one's sexual experience should be reflective of the one they have in THAT relationship, with neither person focusing on the other's previous encounters. In addition, some people have had terrible sexual experiences in their pasts that they would prefer to forget and be given the chance to enjoy what's ahead, and I think sometimes people can lose sight of that. Some people were raised in families preaching "values" and "waiting" and yet, they could feel differently about sex themselves, and while their family may think the number can only be 1, you could want to branch out. As an example, my first boyfriend is 21, and he is a virgin. He is waiting, and has had many girlfriends who have wanted him to sleep with them. He doesn't see these girlfriends as "hoes" for having previous experience, but for him, multiple partners is not what he wants. Just a few thoughts, well a lot! :)

Hello. LIPLUQGP2 [url=http://www.tLIPLUQGP3.com] LIPLUQGP3 [/url] Thanks

Hello. IABRDBFS2 [url=http://www.tIABRDBFS3.com] IABRDBFS3 [/url] Thanks

HI - Wikipedia http://no-fax-payday-loan-ln.info http://no-faxing-payday-loan-ln.info http://payday-advance-loan-ln.info

Because of the http://www.volny.cz/f345g/bad-credit-loan/ http://www.volny.cz/f345g/home-equity-loan/ http://www.volny.cz/f345g/home-loan/

Hello. APIRHPWK5 [url=http://www.tAPIRHPWK3.com] APIRHPWK6 [/url] Thanks

Hello! Good Site! Thanks you! jhqzhmjfyfd

I don't know... I don't meant to be sexist but maybe because men with lots of wives (polygamy) are common in some culture.

One questions: Can you get STDs such as aids/ hiv or watever just from sleeping with a whole bunch of ppl even if they have no disease? If so, people got to take that into consideration and watch who they sleep with. Or watch the amount of people they sleep with.

I think what one must do if he wants a stable relationship, is to know the person first. He/She should not judge him/her by her image, what people talk about that person, and by what he/she does. There are a lot of misjudgments that could happen.

It is really best to know the person by yourself. With your good communication skills, you can work your way through him/her. Discover the goodness of that person and you might be surprised to know the real him/her.

What specifically could I study about these women?

I would like to do some research on modern day women who are not only the 1st women to hold a high level position in their respective field, but also the 1st minority. However, I am not sure what apsects of these women to focus on. This has to be a major paper, so just providing biographical info is not enough. I have to come up with a topic that I can study that is related to this specific group of women. Any ideas?