I was privileged to go to school. However, every day i ask myself, why were my parents able to pay for my school education in Kenya, while the smartest student in class was so poor that she was not able to finish 8th grade. She had to stop going to school and help her mother raise their younger siblings. For so long (3rd to 8th grade), I had worked hard to beat her position in class but I always came in second position while she was first position. Of course, her absence meant that I had less competition in getting the first position in class. However, when I got into first position, i felt that I did not deserve it and i had wrongfully taken somebody else's position. I know I hadn't forcefully sent her away from school, but I had enjoyed the fruits of her bad circumstances! She was very brilliant and could have succeeded, but regardless of the hardwork , her life circumstances did not favor her. Then I started questioning myself, how many more people are suffering and how often have I benefited from their misfortune.
As a christian, i have had to question God multiple times. Why did I have a rather easier life compared to my peers? my school fees was always paid on time, my parents always left me with extra cash and I didn't suffer as much compared to other students. It took me many years to accept the fact that, in some situations I always had more than others. Also, I had taken away some things from others, even without knowing it! That is how the system works!
I have so many unseen privileges and in order for me to understand and appreciate how much I have, I must go South Africa. I must face myself and know how much I have taken away from others. To go south Africa, is a way for me to learn that my privilege is not my right!
I am just blessed to have this privileges and I should use it for my purpose in life. Yet I cannot find that purpose, I am searching for it through the table mountains of Capetown.

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