warning. i am processing. you don't need to read my inner monologue...
o man, i have so much work to do! i have to admit. i am having a minor freak out. so, i'm going to use this blog to talk myself down. it's funny how moody this writing process is. i've intentionally isolated myself, physically and intellectually, in order to work. so i've got 40 pages of prose with 4 or 5 holes that need to be entirely written. this is pretty good. i've spent the morning re-organizing, and am really happy w/ how i was able to move the biographical part of Fanny to the end of the essay. i hope that i'm able to keep it that way.
here's the crisis. i have so much more (secondary) research to do! i had a question: what makes my "weekly paper" the NY Ledger different from a storypaper? well, according to my friend the Stanford Online Dime Novel resource which i'm glad isn't brand new to me, it is a storypaper. well, yes, i think, of course it is. hey, this is good news for me and ties really nicely w/ the boys storypapers of my Senarens chapter.
yet, this little question led me to remember that i have intentionally isolated myself, intellectually, and that i haven't read secondary sources since the beginning of the "spring" (read, winter) semester. so, i jump on JSTOR and there's simply a ton of reading i need to do.
ok. this is not necesarily a reason to freak out. yes, i had begun to think that there is so very very little written on Fern. and this is still true. but now i have 7 article i want to read and 4 books. so, can i complete the draft first and read the stuff second. and then add it.
or, do i need to break from writing and read the stuff and then finish the writing.
this is my crisis.
ok. i think the answer is to finish the draft of the chapter. i have a goal of thursday to do this by. danno is selling his condo and really need my help painting this evening. so i have 5 hours of time left to work today. then, i can work most of the day thurs, but then it's off to st. louis.
so, if i started reading now i would simply be interrupted in it anyway. i think it will take 2 weeks at least to read and that really messes w/ my summer goals. well, i shouldn't get too far ahead of myself.
i think i've talked myself down enough to decide that i should continue with my horse-blinders on and finish a whole draft of this chapter. then, i can read and write. let me tell you, this 40+ page chapter has no body's voice in it but me and Fanny. there are only a few token footnotes that suggest a bigger picture. woah, back up. i was getting to crisis mode again.
ignore the knawing anxiety of a drastic revision ahead. and simply state my opinions clearly so that they are easy to re-work. (see, i can't stop thinking ahead.)
ok, blinder's on. full speed ahead.
i can't wait to see you guys next tues! S$