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Those Unhealthy Deadbeats

Hey look, Darren Bernard has a plan to lower health care costs. Not that they are origninal, effective or compassionate or anything, but they are ideas nonetheless.

His first bright idea, we Americans use the hospital too much so the government should put bouncers at every revolving doorto make sure only those with "acceptable" illnesses can come in. All you obese people and other "hypochondriacs" brought the illness on yourselves so you're shit outta luck. That sounds reasonable, except for the fact that hospital visits are not like Gucci fashions. You see, people like to get Gucci clothes, on the flip side, people hate going to the doctor. That would explain the lack of waiting lists for countries with universal health care.

Bright Idea Number Two: Tort Reform!

Never mind the fact that medical malpractice costs make up only two percent of total health care costs, or in other words, even though America spends $6,000 per person on health care, malpractice awards only amount to $16 per person. Only five percent of the patients who are injured actually file any suit, and apparently the medical malpractice "crisis" is already over, huzzah!