Some days it is really hard to self-generate happiness. You know, like all that pop psychology that says you are responsible for your emotions; "only you can make you feel sad, angry, happy," etc.
Example: I have been procrastinating all week on asking the grad secretary in our department for a list of fall TAs for a mailing I had to do, for fear B. wouldn't be on said list. (One of the side effects of Minnesota Nice is that people avoid telling you bad news, so you march on in a state of happy delusion only to find out that every around you has known forever what you are just learning.)
But today I could delay no longer. B. wasn't on the list. I got to come home and break the news - "honey, you have no job and no tuition for fall; the one thing about this place - teaching - that makes you happiest is not available to you. Have fun sitting at home for the next four months."
Really, I think I was more bummed out than he. So off I went to the faculty meeting for the program I teach in, and when I came home he made some offhanded reference to required TA trainings, which I didn't really "get." Well, hellooo: while I was gone he got the email with the offer to TA this fall. Now why the secretary did not know this at 12 noon, but learned it between 4 and 5 this afternoon, I'll never quite understand. So he did a happy dance, and I did a happy dance and our collective mood went from depressed, "this place SUCKS," to woo-hoo, we're back in the game! Our state of mind should NOT be so dependent on others. But it's livelihood, it's self-validation, it's planning for the future - so yeah, other people run our emotions.
Posted by otto0114 at August 26, 2004 10:17 PMWell said! My spouse and I are both grad students, and he's still trying to get a fulfilling position at the U. It's a tough go. Congrats to B!
Posted by: Summer in Portland at August 28, 2004 09:37 PM