Lots goin' on this week. B is trying to figure out what to do about a course that's really impossible for him. Our friend C is trying to figure out what his (web) legacy will be when he's gone. My parents are selling the house that's been in our family since 1944. It's not my childhood home, so I "say" it's no big deal - but probably it IS a big deal: my grandfather made that landscape; there are so many memories of the place; how will I feel when someone else owns it (or tears it down for cheap condos)?
Then there are my panic attacks whenever I think about my summer of fieldwork in Poland. I just feel inadequate to the task.
Ah, we grow through struggle. It's important (for me, in particular) to realize that whenever I get comfortable, I have given up some greater good (flexibility, openness, accommodation, the possibility for increased learning) in service of that comfort. I pledged myself to be open to new opportunities and challenges when I moved to MN and not to be caught in "fear of the unknown." But it remains a constant struggle to move outside my comfort zone and challenge myself intellectually and socially.
No, not the pesticide kind (although we are trapping ants even as I type).
Big strides forward in funding and thus getting this doctorate DONE. I have won a departmental fellowship for next academic year, a language fellowship for summer, and a smaller summer grant to conduct research. With careful planning and diligent application, I hope to graduate by the end of next spring. I'm so grateful for the support, both financial and emotional: not having to worry about TA'ships and/or working and/or where I am on the funding list and such next year will be wonderful - and imagine two semesters of nothing-but-writing - it's like heaven!
But naturally, in my glass-is-half-empty way, I'm already thinking about the next step, which is going on the job market. I've been advised twice now to write a good dissertation and take the time to do it right, and then let the jobs thing fall into place the next year, which could leave me with a blank year. Post-doc? Some other sort of research endeavor? Part-time teaching? And what about those articles I'm currently NOT fixing for publication?
I spent all day translating Polish - and then class was cancelled. I felt I was really hitting my stride, and I actually enjoyed it (after avoiding it all week) so perhaps there is hope for me and Polish after all.
...the easter ham has now been fully consumed.
Along the way there was ham with waffles, ham sandwiches, split pea soup, and this easy yet delicious casserole:
Cook 4 oz of noodles - egg noodles, for example.
In a small saucepan, heat until bubbly and thick:
1/3 C mayonnaise (I use Miracle Whip and it's ok to substitute some sour cream if you're short)
1 T flour
1 C milk.
Add 1/3 C grated cheese (cheddar is fine, and more than 1/3 C is fine too) and stir in until melted.
Drain the noodles, pour the sauce over, and add 2 C or so of diced ham.
Pour all into a 9x9 casserole dish and sprinkle w breadcrumbs and paprika. Bake at 350 for 30 min.
Ok, it's basically mac 'n' chee but at least you aren't stirring in some weird orange powder that turns into cheese sauce when milk and butter are added. Figure THAT dairy logic!
Our ham was supersalty, so adding salt to anything was not necessary.
It's been a day for getting ready for spring: out with the storm windows, on with the screens; in with the air conditioners; pack up the winter clothes and boots, find the tee shirts.
We've been motivated to do a couple of other little projects, too: find, clean and install the bathroom window fan; unpack the box of blankets (and find a colony of moths, yuck); throw out all the old bread (in this weather we have to start refrigerating bread) and (it is to be hoped) buy new.
Funny, it feels like we've done more. When you usually do nothing, I guess doing something feels like a lot. All I did yesterday was grading and schoolwork and making split pea soup with the rest of the ham.
In my discussion section this evening we got onto talking about the legal infrastructure that makes property be "yours" and how that ownership is a pretty fragile structure based on laws, respect for laws, punishment for strongmen, etc. We take it for granted but it's based on conventions that could fall apart in a moment, if crisis strikes.
A similar and fragile web holds all our technology together. Where do the electrons that display this entry really reside? Can copies end up anywhere the reader wants them to? If I come back in 10 years, will this site still be here? If the grid goes down, how will I enter the information superhighway?
Part of me feels that it's my responsibility to be a "smarter" technologist (I am lame as can be when it comes to technology: ask the Infamous B). This comes up today because I forgot my mobile drive at home today. I had the laptop, so I finished my lecture notes, copied them up to "Sno Cones," went to a computer lab and copied them down to Word and reformatted them, then printed them out. Lame, lame, lame. If I'd ever figured out how to use shared network space (or how to print from my laptop at school), this wouldn't have been a problem. But I do the easiest-for-me thing, not the most technologically savvy.
The mother in the comic strip "for better or for worse" has just sold her bookstore, and yesterday was her first day of retirement. She spent the day in the basement throwing stuff away.
I am reminded of my parents (whose house is on the market and thus are very busy throwing stuff away) but also jealous of people with unlimited free time to do stuff like cleaning out. My files desperately need it, my household repair area (i.e., the stuff piled up in the back hall probably in violation of some fire codes) desperately needs it.
But it's just been a treadmill for me this term: first 8 weeks were grant applications; then writing my talk for the conference in Chicago; then my dissertation proposal (which now awaits rewrite); now clearances for interviewing human subjects this summer. Background to all this is the constant daily work of reading/grading/prepping to lead discussion class/learning Polish.
I'm not complaining, but it would be nice to REALLY have a break. But if I did, there'd be articles to rewrite for publication. So no breaks, on with the show.
For my East Coast readers (if there are any left; I post so infrequently), we are trying to decide on a visit. Probably late May, possibly early June. Stay tuned...
I just finished reading two commentaries and a rejoinder on how research agendas are/should be set, and it strikes me that these would be really good reading for an intro class on geographical epistemology or research methods, or for a capstone seminar (here at the U that'd be Geog 4001, 8001/2, and 3985).
The original forum piece is Jay R. Harman, 2003, Whither Geography? in The Professional Geographer, 55:415-421.
Not sure why it took so long for the commentaries to appear, but they are at p 99 and 104 in the Feb 2006 issue of PG (58:1), and are by Mark Pendras and Rich Heyman respectively. Harman's rejoinder follows at p. 106.
How are research agendas in geography determined? Is use value important? If so, who determines it and how? What about critical perspectives? How important are they? In some sense it's the old social constructionism debate all over again, but the articles are pretty accessible (unlike most of the s.c. stuff) and I think it would be really interesting to hear undergrads (in particular) thinking and talking about such issues.
We had a spirited debate on Tuesday night about the nation's preparedness for a bird flu pandemic (general consensus: nope) and then on Wednesday, the local paper had a piece (in the lifestyles section) about whether or not certain in-the-know scientists around here were stockpiling for the possibility.
Scarily, many of them ARE. That really puts a new spin on the probability for me. So yesterday, B and I were musing aloud about what would it take to stockpile enough food and basic goods to survive in this apartment for 6 to 8 weeks. It depends somewhat on your assumptions: do you assume that basic infrastructure will still exist and be maintained - such as clean running water, gas and electricity, etc.? Because eating strictly out of cans without using water is a lot different than being able to cook, and having to stockpile that much water is a really big deal.
I suppose that using a baseline such as 1500-2000 calories per day per person would be generous, and then you'd just have to supplement with vitamins.
Other considerations - no mail, in or out. Hence no bill paying. Telephone (if the infrastructure didn't go down) would be ok, you'd hope for internet. Otherwise, lots of board games, card playing, books.
The thing about infrastructure is that if it really were a pandemic, people would be sick and dying and not going to work, including the key jobs of maintaining infrastructure. If the folks who run the water treatment plant don't show up, what happens when something goes wrong and there's no one to fix it? Ditto with the electrical infrastructure - even more of an issue, I'd think, because so many people work all day every day maintaining the system. Neighborhoods could be down for days waiting for a crew. It would be hard to get replacement parts if the nation's delivery workforce was reduced even by a few percent.
Wow. It's really interesting to think about the ripple effect. I think I'll stop thinking about it RIGHT NOW.
I could never be a college president because I'd have to be shilling for ethically bankrupt ideas like this dumbass stadium financing plan the U has cooked up lately. Here's the deal: the U "owns" some land in Rosemount (someone told me it was mostly a swamp and therefore not buildable) and the State of MN is gonna "buy" that from the U for just under $10m a year for 20 years, in order to "preserve it from development" and make it "accessible to the public" with walking trails and whatnot. What, the Regents were gonna build condos there if the state didn't buy it?? Puh-lease.
Skipping over the technicalities that allow things to be legal when they are not ethical, don't the citizens in this state in some sense ALREADY own this land? Who "owns" the U and its property? Does it "belong to" the Regents and not the citizens of this state?!?
As if that were not insult enough to our moral intelligence, President Bruininks has the gall to point out cheerily that this deal will allow student stadium fees to be reduced from $200 a year to $100. I suppose it's better to call out the stadium fee as a separate line item on the tuition bill (so that we can be outraged every semester when we pay it) rather than have it wrapped into a tuition hike, but that too is part of a rhetorical game to keep tuition rates low by covering the revenue gap with increases in fees.
Renewed energy - propelled by fear - about my research work. How will I ever get all the background reading, IRB clearances, and contacts set up before mid-May??
Polish seems to have lightened up a bit, though. We are off of the punishing hours of dull, rote grammar exercises into reading and a more topical approach to grammar. This week, it's time phrases, which is super-useful.
Along with that, I'm trying to learn (or relearn, in lots of cases) some of the vocabulary. I am puzzled by my brain: how is that I know I've learned a word before, and even remember some of the words it's associated with (for example what chapter they're in) but cannot generate the word itself? Then, sometimes I can generate a first letter and sort of the vowel-consonant pattern of the word, but get the letters wrong. Like gorzik for garnek. (Not a great example; I'm usually pretty good with "rz" since it's been so difficult for me.)
Then, if I know a word really well - if I can generate it just by sound/thinking it/knowing it (rather than calling up an actual picture of it in my mind's eye) - I will have trouble spelling it. I've so thoroughly learned the sounds rather than the letter-pattern that the spelling just "goes away."
In other news: lots of things are beginning to fall into place. More of than anon.
And, it's beginning to be spring, always a good thing. Don't forget to spring ahead tonight.