Homework v. Social and problem solving

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A key problem that college students face is the distribution of time academically and socially. For me, a really big problem arose when I had to study for three midterms but at the same time a friend of mine was having a lot of personal issues, and she really needed me to confide in. Normally when it comes to homework, I can pretty easily distribute my time in the most logical way to try and get everything done. But what happens when social aspects get in the way? I think it's fair to say that the majority of students would preach "study before social". And for the majority of the time, that's true. But what do you do when you have a friend who is struggling? What is the best way to cope with it? For me it meant spending an extra few hours studying at night instead of sleeping, but my resulting midterms did not go quite as well as I had hoped for since I felt much less prepared than I would have if I had spent all of that time studying. Is there an "algorithm" that can be created on how to handle these situations? And how do we prioritize friends from school? For me, I always feel the moral obligation and desire to want to help a friend who is in trouble, but to what extent do we need to be selfish with our time? NEWSstressed.kr.jpg


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This is an interesting dilemma. However, I feel that determining the severity of the friends problem is crucial. Sometimes people make a big deal over nothing and in that case, it is important to be selfish and worry about what you think is more important, studying. However, when a friend is in a truly dark and bad place, you have to make the decision as to how important your friend is. Maybe contact your professor if there is truly an emergency. I'm guessing since you did not do this, the severity of your friend's problem was not that bad and he/she could have relied on another friend for help when you needed to study. Also, a true friend would not be selfish with your time if it was not necessary.

I think that every person has a different way of of dealing with time management and distributing time between homework, friends, family, work and so on. Although many people in college get caught up in the overwhelming amount of school work, it is important that everyone leave time for social activities, and friends and family. I think its best if people can figure out what works best for them with their habits as far as getting work done during the day and leaving time for themselves or their friends later on, or if instead someone works better getting stuff done at night etc. Overall, I think that time management is huge, especially in college but the best advice I can give is that everyone figures out what works best for them and what they need for themselves, but not to get too caught up only in school work, still leaving time to have a break and spend time with family or friends. Also, when dealing with a friend that is in need of your help, I would suggest that you try and be there for them as much as you can without hurting yourself or your grades too much. If a friends needs help and they confide in you, I think you being there for them is the best thing you can do as a good friend.

Friendships are important, but you must be able to distinguish the difference of being a friend, and needing to study. Especially during midterms, you need to be able to tell your friend that school comes before social life. If they are a true friend, then they will understand. If it is truly a serious matter, be smart enough to advise them to go see a counselor. There are free student services that they can go to, and then you can focus on your studies. If you try to help them too much, their burdens can be transferred to you. Don't disregard your friend completely, but know the limit of how much you can help them without hurting yourself.

Balancing friendships and school work is an extremely difficult task for some. Especially during busy weeks, such as midterms, you must ask yourself whether your friend's problem is severe enough to make you slack on studying. If you decide that it is, you could talk to your professor about an extension. Otherwise, see if your friend's problem could wait until after your busy schedule slows down. Also, if this person is truly a friend, they would not ask you to choose between your school and their issues.

This is a very interesting dilemma that I feel all college students battle. It is very hard to find that "happy medium" of balancing school and your social life. I can see this being even more of a struggle for college freshman because everything is so new to them and they need to find what study skills work for them. However, I feel that it all comes down to your personal judgement as to whether to can handle less sleep in order to study, study less in order to help out a friend or hang out, etc. It takes trial and error but you will eventually figure out what is best for you.

This is never an easy question to answer and for many people there is no answer. I would say it is up to every individual to decide when school or friendships are more important. If your friend is suffering help them but if it is effecting your schoolwork you need to let your friend know. The reality is that situations like this are part of college and it is up to us to tackle them. Remember other students face similar problems and if it is a legitimate problem professors are usually sympathetic they need to be.

This is a very important topic that effects every college student. Pleasing everyone just isnt possible in every circumstance no matter how much your friend needs you they have to understand that college is your future and the problems they are having will have to wait. Another option is for them to talk to another friends. You have to be able to put your own needs first. Sometimes being selfish is the best thing to do. Although me along with others have been known to give in and listen and try to help the person.

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This page contains a single entry by hasse165 published on March 21, 2012 11:04 AM.

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