A Motherly Touch

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While reading Chapter 10 I found the various parenting styles to be quite useful to learn, and they all were very understandable. I especially was interested when reading about contact comfort. We are told that the reason children are attached to their mother more than their father is because the primary basis for the attachment bond is nourishment like milk and food. In most cases it is the mother that provides these nourishments, therefore, that is who they are more attached to as a child. After reading this i found it to make perfect sense, and figured it was a big reason why i am so much more attached to my mom than dad.But then we later go on to read about Harry Harlow and how he overturned the assumption. Applying his findings from his research study on human primates and how a simple touch can be reassuring was very intriguing to me. Growing up whenever something bad happend the first thing i would do was turn to my mom, and i believe many of us can say they did the same thing. If my mom was on the couch watching tv or in her room laying down i would always just go cuddle next to her and that simple action would make everything better. Half the time my mom didnt even ask because she knew i just needed her next to me. I always thought it was just because she was my mom and her presence alone was what did it, but now i realize it was her motherly touch.


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I have also experienced the power of my mother's touch. A simple example for me is my mother running her fingers through my hair while I sit in front of her. This feels so good and yet it seems to only really work with my mother. I think that this is because I have grown to so enjoy my mother's touch whether it is in a back rub, a head massage, or just simply a hand on my shoulder. I think that this enjoyment of touch also goes the opposite way from me to my parents in the form of back rubs, neck rubs, and even a hug. I think that the joy of touch can really operate with those that are closest to me, however. Maybe this is because I have developed wariness to those that I don't completely know as an adaptation to avoid trouble.

I think that the a mothers touch has a dramatic impact on their kids lives. My mother used to baby me and my sisters as kids. She would give us exactly what we want to please our wants and needs. An example i think of when i read this blog was from elementary school. On top of that, I used to absolutely hate going to the first day of school. There were so many unknowns: Friends, teachers, "bus mates". All of these unknowns scared me. On the first day of school in 1st grade, i was crying hysterically so that i wouldn't have to go to school. My mom was forcing me on the bus but i just wasn't going. She finally became so frustrated that she just came on the bus with me and rode it all the way to school. The presence of my mother alone calmed me down and allowed me get to my first day of school on time.

After my oldest sister had her first baby, I was quickly able to see first hand how the "mothers touch" and "contact comfort" really do have an effect on the relationship between a mom and her child. Being around my sister as much as I am, I realized how her baby, my niece, was so easily drawn to her. Not only does my niece like being by her mom more than her dad in most cases, she likes being with her mom rather than being with me, my mom, or my other sister. I recognized that it is not just because my niece is a girl and she is more easily drawn to be comforted by another girl, but she is attracted to her mom because her mom is the main provider and caretaker. A mom supplies her baby with food, shelter, warmth, and comfort, and as a baby, there is no reason to go to another person unless it is for one of those primary resources.

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This page contains a single entry by have0138 published on April 1, 2012 9:32 PM.

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