beerg007: April 2012 Archives

You know you sang the title of this blog and the rest of the lyrics :)

But really, what is love?
lensheart.jpgI know that I haven't really figured it out, but many psychologists such as Robert Sternberg
believe that different forms of love can be classified under three categories: Intimacy (liking), Passion (infatuation) and Commitment (empty love). These categories then overlap in Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love, where intimacy + passion = romantic love, passion + commitment = fatuous love, and commitment + intimacy = compassionate love.

What happens when you have all three forms of love? You get consummate love, essentially the ultimate form of love (yay!).

But why is this theory of any significance? Aren't we suppose to determine what love is through our own personal relationships? Not through a theory some random man with a degree made up? Well, the theory can come into play when determining where our current relationships stand, and possibly identify any "missing gaps" to achieve the total package of love. Or, we may use the theory to possibly sort out our emotions and determine what kind of love we're even looking for. For example, say you're feeling too young for a committed relationship and all you really want is to be with someone you care for and do the horizontal boogie (sex) at times — then you would strive for romantic love (intimacy + passion).

I feel as five years down the line, I would remember a psychological concept like this. Because when it comes down to it, love is a psychological emotion that becomes conveyed into action (hopefully). Emotions never escape us, and love is something that we naturally fall into at some point in life. The theory can help us find out where we are now, and in turn where we want to be. But love isn't just some cookie cutter process that the theory makes it out to be. Love is felt and shared in different ways in which understanding what it really is becomes a unique experience for everyone.

psych1001.jpgMany of us know this famous song lyric from the intro of Sir-Mix-A-Lot's Baby Got Back (or in part of Drake's The Motto). But, have we ever noticed that we make these kind of judgements all the time? As mentioned in our psych textbook, we all have been guilty of people-watching at least once in life, you know, to pass the time while we're sitting around.1 And we conjure up statements like "Wow, look at that guy's hair," or, "Dang, that girl has some cellulite!" Most of the time we get pretty mean (admit it) because we know that the passerby will never hear us, but, do we ever consider that these people know that they are being judged? That their self esteems have been dropping, causing them to take high-measures to fight battles against the views of their peers — and sometimes only creating new battles for themselves? For example, many struggle with weight gain and obesity and at times can lead themselves down the path to bulimia nervosa (bingeing and purging to lose weight) or anorexia nervosa (excessive weight loss and irrational perception that one is overweight).2 Some research has shown that these disorders of extreme weight loss and weight gain can be blamed on genetics, but is that really the case? Other research states that we are highly influenced by the media, looking at images of insanely thin celebrities or looking at websites that provide "Thinspiration."3 So who are we to blame? Our genes? The media? Both? Neither?
Ready, set, discuss.

References
(1) Lilienfeld, Scott. "Chapter 11: Emotion and Motivation." Psychology: From Inquiry to Understanding. 2nd ed. Boston: Allyn & Bacon, 2011. 433. Print.
(2) Lilienfeld, Scott. 436.
(3) Lilienfeld, Scott. 434-437.

Your body said whaaat?

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Makeup blog for Week 9: Emotion

129102076382313599.jpgHave you every noticed that you can tell a lot about a person based on their body language? Humans tend to give off many signals such as non-verbal cues that can let us tap into what the other person is feeling or thinking.

For instance, say you are on a date with someone you like (but you are not quite sure if they like you back) there are some things you can look out for: If you're a male pursuing a female, pay attention to how she is sitting (if you are sitting). If her legs are crossed and her outside leg is directed towards you, she is engaged in you and the conversation. This as well goes for her upper body and posture. If her frame is facing you and is upright and attentive, take that as a good sign. Many of these examples thus far are representative of non-verbal cues, which can be conveyed though posture, gestures, haptics (touch), and even appearance.

Facial feedback is another common form of non-verbal cues that can represent our emotions. It can be something as simple as a smile to convey happiness, or a frown to display happiness. Back to the dating scenario, say you're female this time on a date with a male, here are some examples of facial feedback that can clue you in on what he's thinking: If your date raises one of his eyebrows, he may find you intriguing or mysterious and might want to get to know you a little more. Or, if his lips are slightly parted and eyes are in a gaze, chances are he's mesmerized by you (or at the very least interested).

Body language can help us out a lot when words are of absence, or especially cases such as the the dating game. Simply read the clues and act upon the opportunity, your success rate will surely increase. If you take these tips to help you land your next boyfriend or girlfriend, you're welcome.


References:
Lilienfeld, Scott. Psychology: From Inquiry to Understanding. 2nd ed. Boston: Allyn & Bacon, 2011. Print.
"IVillage." IVillage.com: Health, Beauty, Pregnancy, Entertainment, Women's Community and More. Web. 01 Apr. 2012. http://www.ivillage.com/18-body-language-clues-say-hes-interested-definitely/4-a-283709.

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