If I had to pick a a dysfuntional tole that I belong it would be the pleaser. I am an opinionated person however when it comes to working on task in a group of peoople that I barely know or need to be professional with I tend to avoid conflict. I fall into the wishes of my group members most of the time rahter than express my own feelings. I do this because I seem to think that giving into wishes of other members it will help us all work at a more efficient rate. At work I always work with people who are more experienced than me however, I am the one who usually comes with initial suggestions on how to go about starting the project. Most of the time ther is input on how things should be different and I tend to take all of their suggestions without hesitation. Sometimes I have found that the original idea that we started with, is the one that we go back and start all over. to avoid being the pleaser I can probably speak up if I truely believe that my opinion or idea is the best method in proceeding with our tasks. I could also try to speak with at least one of the members in the group and see what they think of my opinion. I think the main way for me to stop being the pleaser is to speak up more often and express how I feel.
Posted by at October 13, 2005 12:08 AMHi Rak - I'm intrigued by your observations that "Sometimes I have found that the original idea that we started with, is the one that we go back and start all over." Hmm...interesting. As far as I can tell, this is the premise of Gladwell's most recent book entitled, Blink.
I find that, as strange as it sounds, the role of the pleaser can easily turn into the role of the controller. Irony! Sometimes we can think we are being the pleaser when really when are trying to just get things done as quickly as possible. I think being an opinionated person is a strength, but, like any strength, it must be used wisely. SO...how can you ensure that you are keeping to a deadline, yet allowing time and the environment for creative ideas to emerge. It's a challenge, but one that I think to can strive for more balance in - to keep with your personal mission statement. Don't be afraid to share your ideas at work and don't be afraid to spend some time brainstorming (even if it doesn't seem like productive time) to let creative ideas emerge. Balance is the key.
Posted by: Aimee at November 22, 2005 10:06 AM