According to the Star Tribune....VANCOUVER - The players donning the red, white and blue sweaters already got a taste -- a very small taste -- of what's in store for them Sunday when they step onto enemy ice and play Canada on its home turf in front of its home fans.
I like this lead, but I don't believe it is very effective. The reason for this is because although this lead is catchy and may spark your interest it doesn't really explain what it is you're going to be reading about. You know it's going to be about Canada and the U.S. and them maybe playing against each other, but you don't really catch the gist of the story.
I agree, I do think this lead is kind of quirky. However, I do not think it's effective in explaining what the article really is about. The lead talks about Canada, then it proceeds to talk about Norway and the jumps back to Canada. I think overall the article is a little confusing. The story as a whole lacks structure, and I believe it begins with the lead.
I think this lead could have been done a little more effectively to create a more coherent story. As we delve deeper into the article it talks more about Canada which makes me wonder why they brought Norway into the article in the first place. Don't get me wrong, it would be OK to talk about Norway vs. the US but not in the jumping back and forth approach this writer took.
I agree, I do think this lead is kind of quirky. However, I do not think it's effective in explaining what the article really is about. The lead talks about Canada, then it proceeds to talk about Norway and the jumps back to Canada. I think overall the article is a little confusing. The story as a whole lacks structure, and I believe it begins with the lead.
I think this lead could have been done a little more effectively to create a more coherent story. As we delve deeper into the article it talks more about Canada which makes me wonder why they brought Norway into the article in the first place. Don't get me wrong, it would be OK to talk about Norway vs. the US but not in the jumping back and forth approach this writer took.
In this lead, I found the very first sentence to be awkward "The player doing the red, white and blue sweaters"?
Should it be the players wearing?
The next part, I just felt was a confusing way of wording their intended meaning. Not to mention the repetitive use of the word "home".
"What’s in store for them Sunday when they step onto enemy ice and play Canada on its home turf in front of its home fans."
This lead, in my opinion, was not only uninteresting but a major turn-off with the large run-on thought.
I agree that it isn't affective, but I don't think it is a good lead either. I really do not like this lead. I am not sure what I dislike more, the structure or the content.
The structure is terrible. It is way too long. It’s very clunky and repetitive “on its home turf in front of its home fans.” This lead could have been chopped down to 20 words and still sent the same message with the same feel. I am not a fan of the grammar either. I understand the writer is trying to make the article more fun, but using “donning” and “got” in the same sentence ruins it for me.
Although the lead does mention some of the important W’s there really isn’t any information in this lead. By just looking at the lead and the title, I really have no idea where this article is going. I see that the countries are competing against each other, but that is about all the information I get. The vagueness of the lead doesn’t entice me to continue reading. It bores me. Not only do I have no interest in the article, but I have no idea what the article is about, luckily, I don’t care.