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December 12, 2005

Christmas Shopping, When is enough enough.

So,
we all work hard for our money...some of us are Frugal and squander, and some of us are generous and giving. I would like to place my self in the middle of the spectrum. In fact, I would almost put myself in the generous collumn. Having said that, I hate Christmas Shopping. I wander the malls and department stores for hours on end trying to find that perfect gift for those special people. Once I find something that is passable, as we can never find that one perfect item, I write down what I bought on the list of doom. Upon further examination of the list I realize that the monetary value of gifts to my brother and sister and mom and dad vary widely...I mean alot. The question is, do I have to rectify this and even out things? I mean, I don't want my brother to think that he is getting less, when in essence the gift I picked out for him is more meaningful than the large box under the tree for my sister. Every year I feel the need to top my giving from the last year. This also includes Charitable contributions, and cards and Birthdays.

Truly this all hearkens back to the greatest holiday movie ever, The Charlie Brown Christmas, where Charlie Brown Laments over the over corporatization of American holidays. Have we truly lost the meaning of Christmas? In essence, no. The reason many of us put our financial resources to the test in the holiday season is to show those who we give to, how much we love them, how much thought we put in to their gifts, and to hopefully see that happy look of gratitude on their glowing face when we unwrap those bright bowand ribbon-clad boxes of goodies.

What does this oration mean? Sometime in the near future, I am going to have to set guidelines to how I spend money, and how I "equal out" the value of holiday gifts. After all, If I cannot afford to live, no one is going to get a gift!

December 9, 2005

So much to do, so much procrastination

AUDITIONS

Why am I so lazy...Is it fear that I won't succeed? Is it feer that I will have to change?

No. I am just one lazy ass son of a bitch. I have so many auditions to think about now, and no time to do anything about them. Currently, I would like to send in a tape to Chanticleer, send in a tape to the Oregon Bach Festival, prepare an audition for the Stuttgart Festival, and Cantus. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

All the while I am trying to pay my bills, and singing for money. I fear that I will never become a rockstar.

Maybe this is why so many people commit suicide during the holidays. That is when all of the opera auditions are and theyare so everwhelmed by the fact that they can't get a job as an opera singer that they decide..If I can't be a classical singer, I'll never be a rockstar, and they jsut pull the trigger. Truly, I could never do anything like that. I guess it is time for me to do some retail therapy (instead of actually preparing for anything)

Cyber Stalking

So-Cyber stalking, I am all for it. How else do you get to find out what former friends of yours do nowadays without actually talking to them. Right? Being a socially inept person I never want to talk to people or be in public. Stalking them on the WWW allows me to be an introverted weirdo, and still stay in touch with the rest of the world. Right? Who are the latest subjects of my cyber prowling you ask. All of the people that I used to talk with when I lived in duluth. they are obviously having much more fun than I am, but I am not bitter. Jen amazes me in her constant typing and keeping up with things. Sometimes I regret leaving Duluth, not that I ever really hung out with these people, but I could have.