1. Finish conference paper abstract
2. Finish writing book chapter
3. Photocopy chapters of (unread) recalled library book before returning it
4. Call St Paul Public Schools about getting my kids in kindergarten
5. Make a dental appointment
6. Sketch out potential revisions to (rejected) journal article...
...are the six things that, I am confident, will be impossible for me to accomplish this day.
Not that I do not have these tasks, some with highlighted deadline dates ( most of these passed) on my planner. It is just that I recognize both the necessity of these tasks and the likelihood that today will not see their completion. Not that I
don't have the support of my doctoral committee. But here is exactly where I think my problem is:
My doctoral committee.
My committee is made up of four people who are highly competent in their discipline and sub-specialties within their discipline. These professionals know their stuff and are willing and eager to share their knowledge with me, their advisee. They are supportive cheerleaders of my accomplishments, as well as the coaches who help me design the plays that lead to these accomplishments. In short, my committee members are everything that various How-to-PhD resources tell you that you should seek out in academic advisors and committee members.
But still they are my problem.
What I think I really need in committee members is someone who initially is supportive, someone who is enthusiastic and familiar with my scholarly work, someone who will outfit my grad student office with everything I need to do my work--like my favorite stickies with the color coded tips and the clear half that you can put right over text (and that I need to remove from the library book that has been recalled and that is due today).
But then, once comfortable in this lap of academic luxury, I would see my committee member for the true motivational genius s/he really is. I would awake one day from my midafternoon desktop powernap (which sometimes follows my noon lunch, which follows my midmorning freshair break) and reach into my drawer for my microwave popcorn bag. But when I tried to stand I would find that my buttocks and upper thighs had been literally sewn to the seat of my plush blue office chair.
As I screamed in surprise/pain/horror/saltysnack DTs my fantasy committee member would come into my office, a spool of heavyduty thread in one hand and a large needle in the other. In a Kathy Bates'-character-from-the-movie-adaptation-of-Stephen-King's-Misery fashion, my fantasy committe member would say "Oh, you're not going anywhere, missy. Now start writing and don't stop till you're done with the cockadoodee methods section!"
It is easy to say "If only..." In this case: If only I were motivated differently, perhaps with the real threat of bodily harm, I would be able to (a) finish my papers, (b) complete routine personal tasks, (c) think creatively and brilliantly of new ways to discover and deliver new knowledge, (d) all of the above and more. I am sure, though, that while it is true that seeking motivation invites misery, misery alone never motivates.
I think I'll keep the committee I have and search for new ways to motivate myself.
Posted by perry032 at October 13, 2004 09:47 AM