March 13, 2008
A Gift Bag Full of Feminism
Today is my daughters' eighth birthday. We have already had their party--a raucus affair at Pump It Up! They've taken treats to school today to share with their classmates. This evening my husband and I will take them out to dinner and give them their gifts from us (watches with clock faces/hands and books 5 and 6 of the Harry Potter series) and from their relatives out of town.
But still, I am thinking that I should give them a gift that is more personal...more lasting and important. After thinking about this a lot--especially in light of recent current events--I think I know the perfect gift:
Feminism.
But no, not the used, second-hand feminism that I was given/took/stole, and/or re-fashioned. A new feminism.
This new feminism will not trade paternalism for maternalism, nor tokenism for exoticism.
This new feminism will see that sometimes "assertiveness" and "fiestiness" is really just the same old arrogance and rudeness, just spun and branded better.
This new feminism will not be silent in the face of 24/7 media coverage of the death of one blond-haired, blue-eyed young woman while coverage of brown and black young women who also are found dead is absent.
This new feminism will acknowledge that some fish might like bicycles.
This new feminism will involve neither "choice" nor competition among gender and race and income level and sexual orientation and age or any other aspect of personal and group identity.
This new feminism will not define different opinions as self-delusion.
This new feminism will be as concerned with rights to be mothers as with rights not to be.
This new feminism will embrace the struggles and triumphs of my brothers, fathers, grandfathers and uncles as part of its own.
This new feminism will be as concerned with the women changing some other women's children's dirty diapers, cleaning some other women's dirty toilets as it is with these other women's struggles bumping up against the glass ceiling.
This new feminism will continue to observe how the "personal is political," but will also acknowledge that sometimes your personal "ain't like mine."
This gift of new feminism definitely will not be one size fits all, and there will be no restrictions on exchanges or refunds. I give this gift openly and freely, and without expectations of a thank you card or some other repayment at some future time.
Happy birthday, girls. Hope you enjoy your day and all of your gifts.