Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast

30 Second Observation

No matter how anxious one may feel about a pressing dissertation deadline, it is physically impossible to listen to the chorus of Madonna's "Vogue" without lifting one's fingers from the computer keyboard in order to make dramatic framing motions around one's face.

"I'd like to dedicate this dissertation to all those in pursuit of world peace..."

I have this fantasy I have been engaging in recently. When I am feeling overwhelmed--like all these mounds of drafts and notes and diagrams are never going to come together as a dissertation--I try to envision the dedication and acknowledgement sections of my dissertation...

How will I phrase my thank-you's to my committee members? Should I save my advisor for last or thank him first? For the other members, should I go in alphabetical order? Should I call them "Dr." So-and-so even though I am never so formal with them when addressing them face to face? And what family members should I include? Should I say something cute-sy about my daughters' "help" or keep the overall tone serious and scholarly, even in these preliminary pages?

This may sound a tad like putting the cart before the horse. But a few moments of thinking about such dilemmas, and I am back to thinking of my project as do-able--actually, as complete, even.

But the other day it occurred to me: Why limit these sections to the usual suspects of committee members, friends, and family? Why not open up my acknowledgements and thanks to all? So, here is your chance to help me with my fantasy: Who (or what) should I thank in the opening pages of my dissertation, and why? Feel free to nominate yourself, abstract notions, celebs, whatever. I will take under serious consideration any and all suggestions!

Loving, also, lower tech

Well, I did not get my chapter draft completed (actually, a section of 2-3 chapters), so no wine for me. But in my forced non-relaxed, albeit sober, state it did occur to me to share a couple of my favorite dissertation props.

Folks who know me know that I am somewhat of a technology enthusiast--not an early adopter, exactly. (I see no reason to pay a premium price for the "honor" of being part of a company's unofficial research and development team for their still bug-ridden products.) But I do see myself as an enthusiastic early-average adopter. My dissertation work has been infused with technology: brainstorming with this blog, data analysis with N6 qualitative software, concept mapping with Cmap tools. And whatever my current dissertation duties, my iPod is never far away.

But high tech, as much as I love it, can only go so far. During this dissertation process I have also made great use of lower tech tools. In fact, nothing clears up my "stuck" writing/thinking periods than a trip to my local office supply store, where you can find me gliding through the aisles, a look of imminent purchase on my face and the promise of renewed productivity in my heart.

Some of my favorite products are from the Post-It brand from local Twin Cities company, 3M. My absolute favorite office product of all time are these small clear sticky flags with color coded tips. I use these on everything from books to notes. Over time, the colors have taken on meaning for me, so that whenever I see a green tip peeking from the pages of a book, I know that this sticky is signaling a citation for a reference that I want to look up. Yellow and red tips are general notes. Blue generally alerts me to methodology issues and examples.

I have strayed at times from the brand name sticky flags, sampling the office store generic versions. These are less expensive. But they are also often disasters of sticky engineering. It is nearly impossible to retrieve just one from the pack on the first try. The stickiness is unpredictable and variable--from not staying put at all to pulling up layers of text. On the other hand, I have tried the deluxe Post-It combination sticky flags-highlighter pens. I have found these to be too clunky as highlighters, and insufficient (e.g., just one color) as sticky dispensers. My advice is to just stick with the basic, multi-colored pack of brand name sticky flags.

My newest discovery are these traditional index cards with a new twist--sticky backs. I know many students have probably abandoned index cards--too many nightmares from high school of dozens and dozens of these things written with notes and quotes that you were somehow supposed to organize into a research paper. (And actually, I am not sure that more recent generations of students even use these cards for that purpose.)

One thing I have found with the analysis phase of my dissertation work is that the hardest part of the whole process is trying to see all the different ways that the discrete findings might relate to each other. Printouts of N6 text give me the raw materials. The concept mapping can help me get the ideas into final form. But in between this I have needed a way to manipulate concrete representations of the concepts and ideas. These sticky cards are great for that purpose. After I write things down on them, I can move them around on my big office table and the cards stay put. My ideas can flow off of the horizontal surface onto the vertical plane of the adjacent filing cabinets and bookshelves. Then, I can pack up all the cards, shuffle them, and try a new configuration.

(Oh, and you can get a free sample of these cards here.)

I also have a pad of these large wall sheets. They come in lined and unlined--and even come with sticky backs (of course!) I have several versions of my dissertation outline posted up around my workspace. I have also found these helpful for diagramming and concept mapping. I thought they would be good for posting and manipulating my new sticky-backed index cards, but so far there is something about the surface of the wall paper that makes the cards flutter off within moments. (Added bonus, though: When I am done with them, I have recycled these sheets as art paper for my daughters.)

The tool I have put to most use within the past two weeks is an old microcassette recorder. (I was not sure these were still being made, but I saw some new ones on an office supply store website for under 25 bucks.) As many dissertators come to realize, there are few tasks that are as helpful as regular sessions of free-writing. Book after book after book of dissertating how-to suggests that students make a habit of writing down their questions, ideas, concerns, problems, etc. I still do this type of brainstorming on my trusty yellow legal three-hole punch pads. But I also do "free talking" with my little recorder--which is especially helpful because my thinking generally outpaces my writing speed, but my talking can usually keep up OK.

Another benefit is that I can (and do) take my recorder everywhere. If I have some thoughts while driving my kids to camp, I can whip out the recorder and start talking. If I get an epiphany in the middle of the night, I can grab it from my side table, sneak out to the bathroom, and record my thoughts without having to even turn on a light. I also use the recorder to read aloud sections of text I have written and then play back to listen to how my writing sounds.

So. A few of my favorite dissertation things. But now it's time for me to get back to work. Unfortunately I have found no office supply--high or low tech--that will keep a dissertation defense date at bay.

Star Sedition Ape Stud*

I entered my working dissertation title into this anagram generator and came up with this title:

Wide-ranging, Ineffective, Dope: Smother Ace Glittery Honey

I tried again and got:

This Coherent Geometry: Weepingly Offending Eradicative

Better? Worse? I do not know. Hopefully my actual title is coherent, and effective, and offends no one. And hopefully my ongoing progress and its outcome only makes me weep with tears of joy...

Well, back to my A red-hot masochist. ("A** to chair method"--Now how appropriate is that anagram!!!).

(Via Gwinn and Bear It)

* An anagram of "dissertation updates"

I'm Still Standing

Or rather, I'm still sitting, as my A** to Chair Method of dissertation writing remains in full effect. My dissertation love affair is still blooming. And unlike times past, my motivation level is still high.

But I do have one question for you: At what point do concerns about backing up (data, drafts, memos, etc) move from legitimate caution to pathological obsession? I mean, I have notes stored on a jump drive. And on my lap top. I have burned CD-ROMS with drafts. I have a desk top at home. And on campus. I have personal web space that I could potentially store stuff on. I have space on a secured college server where data are stored. I have a troop of monkeys from the city of Bedrock chiseling drafts onto giant stone slabs.

Despite all this, I also have paper copies of my work-in-progress--reams and reams and reams of paper. And yet I still worry about losing my work. Is this not over the top?

I dreamt last night of many strange things, such as an a cappella solo of Elton John's "Take Me to the Pilot" sung by my teacher from first grade who I have not seen in decades. But I dreamt also of a Major Catastrophic Event that resulted in simultaneous multiple failures of all my work safeguards. Laptop, desktops, jump drives, server, yellow three hole punch legal pads...all gone. I was devastated at having to begin my entire dissertation anew.

Nevermind that if such an Event ever came to pass in the world outside of dreaming, I'd likely have much bigger concerns than finishing my dissertation.

I'm sure this focus on backing up is either mask or metaphor for some deeper issue(s) concerning my advancing progress towards PhD completion. If so, such concerns will have to wait until after my defense in the fall.

For now: Back to work.

Questions for Dummies: Basics of GTM

Now, I'm not saying you're a dummy--and I am certainly not claiming to not be a dummy myself about qualitative research (that is, the hypothetical book to the right could just as well be by as for a "dummy"). But I think I may have some small nuggets of non-obvious knowledge to pass along as I continue to develop my expertise in one method of qualitative research, Grounded Theory Methods (GTM).

So, I present here one such nugget. Enjoy!

The Importance of Questions in Grounded Theory Methods (GTM)

Definitely NOT a book about GTM "by dummies" is Strauss & Corbin's Basics of Qualitative Research: Techniques and Procedures for Developing Grounded Theory. These authors--one (Strauss) was a co-founder of the Grounded Theory method--say that asking questions is one of the "two operations [that] are absolutely essential for the development of theory" using the method. There may be no dumb questions in the classroom, but there are questions in GTM that are, if not "dumb," better than others.

What are good questions in GTM? According to Strauss & Corbin,

A good question is one that leads the researcher to answers that serve the developing theoretical formulation. Many questions can be asked, and just as many can lead the researcher down a subsidiary path, one that might be interesting but not in service of the evolving theory (p. 76, emphasis added).

The authors go on to describe their suggestions for four different types of questions. The first two of these are "sensitizing questions" that "tune the researcher into what the data might be indicating," and "theoretical questions" that "help the researcher to see process, variation, and ... to make connections among concepts" (p. 77). (The other two types I'll not discuss: practical/structural and guiding questions.)

Did you get that? Unless you've had your nose in qualitative research books non-stop for almost a year like I have, probably not. I often feel like I did not start "getting" GTM until I drank the methodological kool-aid. A lot of this stuff does sound kind of cult-ish in nature, like if you do not understand you just haven't properly given over your mind and spirit to The Method. But actually, it is not so difficult.

For example, questions of the first kind, sensitizing, include:

• What is going on here (e.g., issues, problems, concerns)?
• Who are the actors involved?
• How do they define the situation?
• What is its meaning for them?
• Are their definitions and meanings the same or different?

And examples of the second kind of questions include:

• What is the relationship of one concept to another?
• What would happen if...?
• How do events and actions change over time?
• What are the larger structural issues here, and how do these events play into or affect what I am seeing or hearing?

(Both lists from page 77.)

Hypothesis vs. Question: Null

One of the first things learned by students of qualitative research is that while quantitative research speaks of research hypotheses, qualitative research speaks of research questions. (The extent to which that is true or not can be debated--for example, some quantitative research is more exploratory in nature and deals in research questions while some qualitative work is more confirmatory in nature and deals in explicit hypotheses or more hypothesis-like questions. But that's a digression for another time.)

A staple of much quantitative analysis (especially for those learning it) has been the idea of the "null hypothesis". Again, some disclaimers are in order: there is some fair amount of controversy in research about just what the null hypothesis does/can tell and does/can not tell researchers. Additionally, it is not uncommon for research to make unfounded conclusions about alternative hypotheses based on their statistical rejection or non-rejection of the null. But the idea of the null hypothesis, to me, is a useful metaphor--if nothing else--for the research process: We want with our research to clear away randomness and the meaninglessness in order to be able to see the patterns and the logic.

Thinking about the null hypothesis got me wondering: What would be the equivalent qualitative question to the null hypothesis? What is the question that you, as a researcher, are trying to reject?

One possibility of a "null question" is actually a two-parter, question plus answer: Is there anything of interest going on here? No, there is not. Just as you might try to find statistically significant differences in quantitative scores to disprove such a statement, in qualitative research we might think of analyzing data for qualitatively significant differences in participants' responses to disprove this null Q&A.

The null question may end up being true. It may be that there is nothing patterned or analytically meaningful or otherwise news- or PhD-worthy about anything that any of my participants say, or--if there is--my qualitative skills are too weak to detect them and my dissertation and entire PhD quest has been all for nothing--

OK, that isn't so much a null question as every dissertator's deepest fear. (And that is a topic for another day...)

Falling In Love...Again

When I first started my dissertation research I was deeply, deeply in lust with my research.

This was before I finalized my topic in any formal way (e.g., dissertation proposal written, prospectus meeting with my committee). I was in lust when I had a pretty good idea of what my topic was. I talked about "My Research" constantly and to whoever would listen (or pretend to). Everywhere I turned, Signs were present confirming that My Research was IMPORTANT EXCITING INNOVATIVE BRILLIANT. I sometimes dreamt of My Research and awoke to find myself hugging my laptop-turned-pillow...to rush downstairs at 5 a.m. to conduct another lit search, read another chapter, compose another research-related blog post.

Then at some point my lust for My Research cooled. I had some doubts. I was unsure of Research's feelings for me, and mine for it. My Research seemed neither important nor exciting. It was clearly neither new nor brilliant. But slowly, somehow, eventually our feelings for each other prevailed.

I fell in love with My Research.

Soon afterwards I was ready to declare my love for My Research openly. I outted my love to the whole University community in a dissertation fellowship aaplication, then to my committee members during my proposal meeting. When I left the conference room following that meeting I was sure that everyone was looking, saying "Ahhh, don't they make a cute couple?"

Signatures were signed; official papers were filed. My Research and I were thus wed.

But as luck would have it--and, as is the case with many newlyweds--no sooner had we made this committment than we were thrust again into uncertainty. A relationship with Research takes a huge committment. This I found. A relationship with Research takes work. This, too, I found. Love is not always love-ly.

This I found every time I rolled over and saw my ugly, annoying, needy Research curled up in bed next to me.

Of course, this state of affairs made things ripe for...wandering attention. Ooooo, I would sometimes think, look at that gorgeous research topic. Other times, my imagination would soar with images of What It Would Be Like To Not Be Researching At All. Or worse, when my attention would be firmly directed to My Research, It would instead ignore me, not offering up previously easy insights...not speaking to me when I was trying to engage it in scholarly conversation.

But. I did make a committment--and in front of College and Committee. I tried to remember all the things that drew me to My Research in the first place: all the little insights that could set my mind all a-flutter, all the gestures that seemed to link all the academic paths I had followed. I read and re-read the love letters of our early brainstorming sessions. I reviewed like snapshots all of our dates in cyberspace, in the library stacks, and in piles of transcript pages.

Now I can say with certainty that I am in love with My Research--again. And, as far as I can tell, It is in love once again with me.

What comes next? Well, I think I know now that any Research worth having is Research that is worth working at. And I know that loving My Research is cyclical and will not be constantly sunshine and roses. I am fortunate to have guiding me a mentor who is with his own Research an old, but still very much in love, married couple--one that has produced many, many children and even more grandchildren.

My Research and I are trying for our own first offspring: We have a proposal submitted for a conference presentation! Wish us luck!

In the meantime, I gotta go. I have a date with a tall, dark and incredibly brilliant Lover.

Goodie Bag of Web Links

Getting ready for our daughters' 6th birthday party: preparing a guest list...choosing a theme...strolling the aisles at the big party supply super stores...getting colored paper bags for 30 cents each and little goodies to fill them with---

When it occurred to me: Why don't more interactions, events and activities in the adult world come with "goodie bags"? Everybody likes a goodie bag, yes? They do not necessarily have to be the extravagant things handed out to celebs at awards shows. Just a simple sack with a few simple things.

Well, one adult activity that should definitely involve goodie bags is graduate work. Remember when you were admitted to your graduate program? Before I arrived I got several goodie bags--well, they were actually thick, padded envelopes, but the concept was similar. One was from the technology center, with bookmarks and a magnet and pamphlets and a CD-ROM with Internet downloadables. Another was from the department and contained maps of campus, bookmarks (what was with the bookmarks?), and lots of information about orientation. Once I arrived I got a goodie bag from the new second years (and I think this time it was an actual bag) with a pen and mug and a gift certificate to a local eatery and some other stuff (probably a bookmark or two).

But since then. No goodie bags.

Well, I think that's just a shame. All the expansive grad school reform efforts aside, improving the graduate school experience would be greatly facilitated simply by instituting the ritual of Goodie Bag Giving (GBG). This is especially so, I think, for ABD folks like me struggling with the uncertainty, isolation, and lack of continual reinforcement of dissertation work and with the fears of the much dreaded What Comes Next.

Well, I'm going to do my part today by handing out a Virtual Dissertators' Goodie Bag! Contents:

The Academic Coach's IHE piece on overcoming cycles of procrastination--In fact, do NOT just read this one. Print out several copies and post them in key places in your living environment (home and office work spaces, bathroom mirror, refrigerator door...)

The dissertation handout from the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill Writing Center

From the Career Services Center of the University of California, San Diego, Prepare for the Non-Academic Job Market--Seems to me that many of these tips work just as well if you are looking to find an academic job in your own field, as well as an academic job outside of your field

Your own, personalized calendar and planner, from D*I*Y* Planner--You know, it's interesting: I love technology (Toys for adults? Who wouldn't love that?) and for a while had a shiny, fancy PDA. But after one too many syncs-gone-wrong and battery charge mishaps, I went back to my good old paper/pen/highlighter system.

Finally, why wait until graduation to buy your diploma frame? I'm gonna buy one of these and hang it--sans diploma--right in my home office. Every time I feel lost I will look up at it and remember my goal.

If you are not satisfied with this particular goodie bag, drop me an email and I'll be happy to send you one from my daughters' party (valued at approximately $3.00). Happy Dissertating!

Memo to Self

I am in the data analysis phase of my dissertation right now. Yes, that's correct: My pilot testing is concluded, my proposal has gotten from my committee the green light (as well as four loud-but supportive-horn honks!), my application has emerged from the mysterious forest of the IRB, and my weekend-long spurt of procrastination is complete. Now, the real fun of my qualitative research project begins: coding pages and pages of text from interview transcripts.

One aspect of that coding is writing memos.

According to the reference manual of the qualitative software program I am using, memos are useful and "methodologically important" text files in which researchers "record their thoughts and comments about the document [e.g., an interview transcript] or node [e.g., a theme to be coded]." In other words, memos help a researcher record her thoughts about specific data, especially as these thoughts might help structure and guide further coding.

When I was using this program for a prior qualitative research project, I skipped over the memo-writing step. I thought, "Nah, I don't need no stinkin memos. I'm so excited about this analysis that I could not possibly forget my thoughts about my coding." But actually, I found that I did. After a couple of transcripts, memory begins to blur and fail. It is difficult to recall if that classic example of Theme B came from this transcript or that one. I might have excerpted a particular piece of text to take to a meeting with my advisor, only to arrive and sit there like a fool trying to remember why I thought that was such a good quote. While coding, I found myself salivating over hot epiphanies that further tasting revealed to be merely warmed over insights left over from four transcripts ago.

I vowed not to repeat those work habits. So, this time around I will be a memo-ing fool.

The software manual further describes the value of memos:

From early in a project--especially early in a project!--it is essential to have easy and secure ways of storing ideas. Don't wait till the ideas seem robust. Early insights may be critical in forming your understanding (but often are so tentative or implausible that novice researchers hesitate to commit them to formal records) (p. 30).

Some memos might be just "brainstorming on paper," but others may become developed well enough to export as whole sections of the dissertation. (Oh, how I hope and pray for that happy turn of events!) In addition, I am planning to use my memos as part of my "quality assurance" process. I aim to keep a careful trail of my thinking, decisions, and steps that can be easily analyzed by me and by others. Carefully documented memos will help in this process, making all of this transparent.

It's too early for me to tell if my memo-writing will pay off--in the form of greater efficiency, clearer theory-building, improved rigor, or some other benefits. I'll keep you posted.

References: N6 Reference Guide & Using N6 in Qualitative Research. (2002). Melbourne, Australia: QSR International. www.qsrinternational.com

A2C Origins, Revealed

As a follow-up to a couple of recent posts (here and here), I wanted to let you know I found the original reference to what has become the A** to Chair Method of Dissertation (and Other Graduate Student) Writing--or A2C for short. It is from Joan Bolker's Writing Your Dissertation in Fifteen Minutes a Day:

This chapter aims to help you get started writing. When I worked at Harvard's Writing Center, we joked that the single most useful piece of equipment for a writer was a bucket of glue. First you spread some on your chair, and then you sit down (p. 32).